So, the second topic in the BBBC is what is the perfect day in SL.  This is a tough one because I think I’ve already had the perfect day in SL.  It was the day I married Ioh.  I’ll refrain from being all sappy about it but it really was the most perfect day.

For those of you familiar with Midian City and it’s lag and mandatory crashes you’ll understand this next part.  Actually, most of you should.

The wedding went from start to finish with NO ONE crashing.  Not a soul in the wedding crashed.  We had a full Catholic service/wedding in Midian City on a Sunday night of a holiday weekend and it went without a hitch.  Is there anything more perfect than that?  I don’t think so!

Father Eamon Cale presided over the service and it was beautiful.  Elise Capalini gave the Bride away and Bailey Dazy was Maid of Honor.  The girls decorated the church for me and Ioh and it was beautiful.  I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful service.

The whole thing was part of RP but Ioh and I are a couple outside of the RP as well and it was wonderful to see Ryker at the wedding.  I love her to death.

The whole day was spent with friends and family and the man I love.  I couldn’t have asked for a better day and can’t imagine any day being more perfect than that one.

There are pictures from the wedding up on my Flickr for anyone who is interested.  If you want to come to Midian and see what it’s all about, give me a shout and I’ll show you around.

Phew, so now I’m caught up on the BBBC, until tomorrow at least!! LOL

I’ve not written here in awhile.   In all honesty I’ve debated keeping the blog going at all.   I’ve changed since I started this and in order for the blog to continue to serve a useful purpose it has to change too.   Well, change it will.  Starting today…

Roleplay in SL can be anything from slaying dragons to chasing down a rogue vampire to having a child or even being a child.   If you think for a moment, to some respect we are all roleplaying in SL.   Our avatar is generally much different than we are in RL.   We do things in SL we’d never do in RL.   And before anyone gets in an uproar saying that their avatar and the person behind the keyboard are the same…. When was the last time you flew to the grocery store?   Exactly.  So like I said, in SL we do what we can’t/wouldn’t do in RL.  Some go a step further and roleplay within SL.

I never thought I’d be roleplaying in SL.   I’ve had friends who have been heavily involved in roleplay, Midian specifically for a long time.   They all tried to get me to join them and I was never interested.   I didn’t see the attraction.  Nor did I want to.  Well flash forward 2 years and one of my closest friends is RPing in Midian and asks me to come check it out.   Having reached one of those points in SL where everything seems to bore me I agree.   At the very least I’ll take some pictures.  We’ll I spent about an hour with her that night.  Next day I joined Midian.  I was hooked.  I joined the Catwalkers, went thru training and became a full Catwalker.   I’m sorting out what role I want to play in the Pride.  

In the process of joining the Catwalkers I sold some land to a few fellow Midianites.   Who could know that one of those folks would become someone very very special to me.

Ioh bought the land right next to me.  He was a Catwalker and had a bit of a reputation as a ladies cat lol .   He was nice enough though and I was happy to have him as a neighbor.  How it happened I don’t know.  We ended up roleplaying a bit in Midian together.   I loved every minute of it!

Over the course of the coming days he and I got to know each other.  We talked, we kissed, we ….(I’ll keep this a PG blog ) 

I fell in love with him.  I adore everything about him.   His kindness, warmth, honesty, trust, humor, intelligence are just a few of the many wonderful things about him.  I’ve had relationships in SL before, but none that can even compare to the way I feel about him and the bond he and I share.   He collared me at the end of January.  Huge step for me, to give someone else that kind of control is a big deal and not something I’d do lightly.   We partnered the next day.  We’re getting married at the end of April, in Midian.   It’s been a whirlwind but a wonderful one.  I’ve never been happier.

If it hadn’t been for roleplaying in Midian I’d never have met him or any of wonderful extended family in the Catwalkers.

The next time someone asks if you’ve ever roleplayed or if you want to, instead of saying no right off the bat, go follow them around a little, see what it’s all about.  Afterall, Rrish did and she’s enjoying herself.

So, as you may have guessed, the blog is going to be more focused on what Bails is doing in SL.  Whether it’s role play in Midian or DJing at the Crown. Which I’m doing tonight by the way.

First off, I know this post is probably going to piss someone off.   That said ….

It’s been commented on and discussed through out the grid, the forums and the blogosphere, Linden Lab is moving the hardcore adult content off onto their own continent.  Ok.  What gets moved, how, defining *adult* etc all have yet to be done but LL is inviting residents to participate in the discussion about it.  This is a good thing in my mind and something they’ve not done well in the past so good for them.

Granted, this decision doesn’t affect me personally as my sims are Mature but are not part of the "adult" business.  However I have to ask why everyone is in such an uproar.

First, I have to ask why is this such a problem?  Don’t themed areas do better financially?  If your looking for something isn’t it easier when you find it all in one place?  Now I’ll admit that being told "where" I can put my business might piss me off.  But at the end of the day, if I want the business then I’m going to go where the customers will be.  Look around the grid and you’ll see this is true.  Stores of a certain type will gravitate to the sims that will support them.  The Vampire focused sims have stores filled with vampire teeth and skins etc.  I’ve not been to the primarily furry sims but I’d imagine the same holds true for them.  I do spend a lot of time in Midian and the few stores there certainly support the nature of the sim.

Second, haven’t people on the mainland been bitching and moaning about all the sex clubs/shops/billboards/etc popping up next to their pretty little homes?  I’ve heard the complaints about LL not providing appropriate or any zoning rules on the mainland and how it affects land prices etc etc.  Well, ok, here’s some zoning rules.  I’d think you’d all be happy.  That sex club that you see everytime you sit on your porch won’t be there.  No idea what will move in but it won’t be a sex club.

Now we know the teen grid and the main grid are going to merge.  We also know that kids have been on the main grid for as long as there has been a main grid.  A good many of them are more mature than some adults I’ve met and I’d hate to see them go.  I also know I’ve spoken to a lot of parents who wish they could interact with their kid on the grid.  That seems reasonable doesn’t it?  Parents should be able to see and interact with their kids on the grid.

Some people are going to make a fuss about creativity and individual freedoms and how this isn’t RL etc etc.  LL has and will always do what it feels is necessary in order for it to survive and flourish.  How many people have complained over the past year about the bad press SL gets when everyone thinks it’s all about sex and porn?  Well you can’t have it both ways.  Either LL takes steps to improve it’s reputation and make SL usable to everyone, or it dies eventually because no one will take it seriously when all they hear about it is the sex stories.

Some will say "but we’re all adults we should be able to do what we want".  Well you still can.  Yes, if you want to buy something in world from a specific shop you may need to be age verified.  What exactly is the problem with that?  Is there a reason you don’t want LL to know any personal details about yourself?  If you’ve ever shopped online, then someone knows more personal details about you than you know.  If you don’t want to age verify there is always xstreetsl.

Really folks, at the end of the day, this isn’t going to be that big a deal to the majority of the population.

I’m being a curious kitty today. 

If you have a blog, why do you write every day?  Do you write every day?  I understand the fashion blogs and all the rest that are similar in that they have a singular focus.  But if your blog isn’t one of those why do you do it?  I have my reasons which can change often.  At times it’s because I have something to say and others it’s a need to simply blather on about nothing in particular but to record the words, to write. 

It’s been a while since I wrote a post every day.  It’s not that I don’t have enough to say, I certainly do.  It’s more that I don’t want to say it out loud, for everyone to hear.  Somethings really are better left unsaid.

So why do you do it?

Ok, here’s another one.  Why are you in SL?  What brought you there?  Why are you still there?

I’ve been in SL over 2 years now.  Started when I was home sick one day watching Good Morning America and they did a piece on it.  I logged right in and was hooked.  After a month I was starting to get bored when someone who would end up being one of my best friends dragged me off to a wedding.  I’ve been around ever since.  Sure I’ve had moments where I thought I’d pack it in.  Times when I’ve been so bored and disallusioned I thought what’s the point.  Then something would strike me and my interest would be sparked again.  My interests have changed in the 2 years since I first logged in.  My skills have improved, my circle of friends has grown.  I’ve tried things I never thought I would.  Some I enjoyed, some not so much.  I’ve met wonderful people and I’ve met some not so wonderful.  Each new experience has taught me something. 

So, why are you in SL?  If you’ve been around more than a month what made you stay?  If you’ve thought about packing it in, what made you stay?

To those who know me well, they’ll know that my avie has gone thru quite a few changes in the last couple of months.  The most notable of this is she’s completely neko now.  Not just part time, all the time.  She’s also sporting a lovely leopard skin.

The reasons for making these changes isn’t really the point of this post.  The fact remains that this is who Bailey is.  Now last night I was out shopping with a friend.  This friend happens to be a child av and that child av is my daughter.  The person behind the av is a good friend and I am old enough to be her mother!

The point of all of this was a couple comments directed toward me in IM.  I’ve also heard a number of comments from other people about child avs.  Course I’ve heard loads of comments about nekos in general, Gor slaves, kid avies, furries etc etc  These comments range from the bland to vile things I’d never repeat.

Hearing these comments disappoints me.  This is second life, a place where you can be anyone and anything you wish to be.  Shouldn’t everyone else be able to do the same?  What does it matter to you if I’m out shopping with my daughter?  I’m not asking you to recognize her as my daughter, I’m not even asking you to say hello.  Ignore us if it makes you feel better.   The same would be said for all the others I mentioned above. 

If your out shopping and you see a Gor slave kneeling half naked or a furry, or a vampire or any of the others I’ve mentioned above and you don’t like it, ignore it.  They aren’t asking for you to interact with them.  They are simply there to shop just like you.  Don’t stare, don’t grimace and don’t run to AR them.  Leave them alone, let them shop in peace.  No one is asking you to interact with someone  you don’t wish to. 

I will say though, it’s still polite to say "I’m sorry" when you body slam someone trying to get in the store.

So yeah, I’m disappointed in some of my fellow residents.  Who knew that when we logged in to SL to escape the crap in RL we’d let all that bigotry, hate, and intolerance in.

The next time I’m out shopping with my daughter or son and someone makes a comment, I’m going to ignore them.  I’m not going to waste a moment of my time acknowledging them and their small minds.

The next time your out shopping and you see a Gor slave/master think abou this before you comment, would you tell a neko to take off their tail and ears before going shopping?  Does the fairy or angel need to take her wings off?  Are you going to tell that Vampire , sorry put the teeth away?  What about the robot , can’t even imagine what problem anyone would have with a robot.

Stop being judgmental against someone because you neither understand why they do what they do nor approve of it.  It’s not up to you to like it, or approve it.  They are entitled to live their own second lives as they see fit.

*end rant*

UPDATE:  I’ve closed comments on this post and I will no longer allow comments on this blog that do not stay on track with the message delivered in the post.

The idea that Phillip brought up about merging the Teen and Main grid has been bantered about all over the blogosphere.  While I can appreciate both sides of the argument I think attempting this with the issues LL currently has is a mistake.

There is no doubt I’ve met some talented and very mature minors on the main grid.  I’m sure there are far more out there than I know about.  They are smart and creative and savvy enough to not broadcast their age.  They are breaking the rules yes but kudos to them for trying something.

There are 2 sides to every argument of course.  Those who support letting all the kids in to the main grid and those who don’t.  I doubt anyone is suggesting just throwing the doors open and letting anyone thru without some form of verification that you are who you say you are.  This is where some people lose me.  You are signing up for SecondLife, many have blogs, many have even referred to their RL in those blogs.  Why are you so against some sort of verification that you are who you say you are when you enter sl?  No one is entirely anonymous on the internet.  An enterprising 13yr old could hack your website, find your bank account and buyout the video store before you even notice.  I realize that’s an exaggeration but you get my point.

Now granted, some worry about handing out personal details.  Fair enough.  Look at it from a different view though.  By verifying you are protecting yourself.  Your saying, "yep, this is who I am" to LL.  Now it’s up to LL to protect that information by not sharing it, letting it get "lost" or stolen.  Perhaps I’m being nieve but at some point you’ve got to trust a system to work as it’s intended.  So, I age verified, it took 5 mins.  I have payment info on file, it took 5 mins.  LL knows who I am and so does everyone else in SL that I’ve chosen to tell.  I make no secret of it, I just *choose* who I tell.

What does all that have to do with merging the 2 grids?  It’s one of the things LL will have to do if they want teens and adults to co-exist openly.  I don’t want to have to alter what I do in SL because a kid may be on the sim.  Not when my sim is set to mature.  I don’t want to have to tell the residents of my island what they can or can’t do on their property because a kid may show up at the mall in the middle of the sim.

By the same token I’d expect there to be some strong rules about behaviour in kid friendly areas.  I’ve no problem following the rules in such an area if I can set my own on my sim.

I’ve long since thought that parents should be able to spend time with their kids in SL.  Maybe that’s the place to start integrating.  Set up a "family" area.  See how it works.  Allow family members to bring people in if they want to.  It could be a great thing.

It’ll be interesting to see how this pans out.  As Blue said in the concierge chat last night they’ve wanted to do this for 2 years.  I’ll reserve judgement for now and wait to see what happens.

Yep, new blog template.   Like it? 

See when you break your blog(you can stop laughing now), it’s an excellent time to make a new one and since I wanted to a new one anyway…

No, I didn’t break the blog on purpose.  Really, I didn’t.  Was totally an accident. 

I’ll thank Prad again though for not only fixing it but making this awesome new one for me.   You rawk dude!

Fear .  It’s gripped all of us at one time or another.   Whether it’s a fear of heights, spiders or any number of other tangible things we are all afraid of something.   Reluctantly we’ll admit to these things because we know that the person we are admitting it to has a similar fear of their own.   If your afraid of spiders, having the person who isn’t afraid of spiders tell you it’s in your head, it’s irrational and to get over it is not helpful.  Of course that person is deathly afraid of heights and will not go anywhere near a window over 5ft off the ground.   To you, this is irrational and in their head because you jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

We all have our fears.  Some of us confront them straight on in the hope of taming them so that we can live our life without this gripping fear that prevents us from living life to the fullest.  Some of us simply learn to work around them.  We make do with what we’ve got.

What about those intangible fears though?  The ones that you can’t point to and say, “see I’m terrified of that”.   These are the most crippling emotions.  These are the ones we won’t admit to.   Admitting to them strips a layer of shadow and wall from us and lets the world see inside us.   At least a small piece.  It also makes us vulnerable.  Vulnerable to anyone who wants to take advantage of us.  Admitting these fears gives them an open door.

Fear .  The new theme for the Gallery of Light.  I asked the artists to show me their fears.   I asked them to bare a little piece of their souls for us.  The meaning behind each photo is their own.  It is up to them to share or not that meaning.

My entry is attached to this post.  My fear:  Being alone.  As everyone who knows me knows, I am single in RL as well as SL.   This is my choice and most of the time I am happy with it.   As the holidays approach though it becomes more and more difficult to be completely happy not having anyone to share all of this with.   I have wonderful friends and a loving family but it’s not the same.   I’ve been single in SL now for the longest period of time since joining 2 years ago.   Quite frankly, I was thrilled to finally be single again.  I was finally able to do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted.   With all of that comes Loneliness though.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to get married in SL again, I don’t even want to partner someone for romantic reasons again.  I do crave the companionship, the someone to cuddle with, share a funny moment or just talk to.   I love knowing someone is their waiting for me, waiting to share the latest news, a dance at the Crown and Pearl or just a cuddle on the couch and talk.  I will laugh it off with my friends saying that it doesn’t bother me, I’m happy as I am, I don’t need anyone but them but none of that is really true if I’m totally honest. 

So, I’ve bared my soul to all of you.   The pictures will go up this weekend, most likely sometime on Saturday.   Stop by the Gallery and take a look.  I think you’ll be impressed.

I’ve heard quite a few people complaining about Alts lately.   What is an alt you ask?   An Alt is an alternative avatar, a second or third or fourth persona you create usually entirely different from your original avie.   I’ve heard of people having up to 10 other avies.

Why have one?  The reasons are as varied as the people who have them.   Business reasons, role play, to spy on a significant other, to hide from a significant other and on and on.   I will admit to having two alts.  One I rarely use that I set up to roleplay with and never got into and one that I created because well, sometimes you need another av for a photoshoot.   It’s a male av and I’ve yet to *dude* him up but I’ll get there.

The Business Alt:   Having a business alt makes total sense when you run a successful business.   Generally that av only logs in from time to time, handles the administrative things and logs out again.   This av isn’t usually hidden from anyone.

The Role Play Alt:   So, you wanna go all psycho in Midian or CoLA or any of the other roleplay sims.   Your very proper human av just won’t cut it though.  You make an alt in which to be whatever mutant or neko or vamp you wish to be.   Some people share this alt with their friends, some don’t. 

The I need to spy on my significant other Alt :  Ok so your dating/partnered/engaged/married and your significant other seems different.   You know something is wrong but they simply say everything is fine.   You don’t believe them.  You worry they are cheating.  What do you do?   You create an alt and then go spy on them.   Let me just say I’m NOT condoning this behavior.  Having been on the receiving end of it I can tell you it destroys all trust in a relationship.  I dated someone who had an Alt to spy on every girl he dated.  Some male, some female.  He even created one male av and used it to hit on me to see if I’d take the bait.  No, I didn’t.   My suggestion, if you think your significant other is cheating, ask them outright or end the relationship.   Spying is simply wrong.

The I need to hide from my significant other Alt :  Ok, so you’re in a great relationship but you want a bit of alone time.   Your other half just doesn’t understand why you don’t want to spend every waking minute with them.   You create an Alt so you can get some peace and do what you want.   Wanting some peace and being able to do whatever you like is all fine but maybe you need to have a heart to heart with the significant other rather than hiding behind an alt.

The I just want to annoy everyone Alt :  You’ve probably had one to many alcoholic beverages and think it would be a real hoot to create and alt and then go to your favorite hang out in your underwear and hit on your friends.   True story, happened at the Crown the other night.  Lands was kind enough to share the story with me.   I’ll refer you to Prad Prathivi’s  Rules of Second Life , SL and alcohol don’t mix.  It’s #49 on the list but do read all of them, they are quite funny and oh so true.

The I look better than I should only being 3 mins old Alt :  Do not try to tell me you’re a noob when you’ve got a Redgrave Skin, Diversity Hair, an outfit from Last Call(which is closed) and shoes from Shiny Things or boots from Bax.   Cause there is no way someone under 30 days has any of that stuff, especially from Last Call as they have been closed a while now.   You created an alt, transferred stuff over and are trying to be *new* again.   You know what, fess up that it’s an alt.  Trying to pretend your something your not is just silly, we see right through it.  

This concludes my little rant on Alts. 

No really, legit question.  Are you one of those people who bounces all over the grid checking out random sims?  Or do you have one or two favored places that you always go to? 

If your bouncing all over the grid how do you choose where to go?  What makes one of these places a favorite and worthy of inventory space by keeping a LM?  What makes a sim instantly unlikable?  When I’m bouncing around the grid I’m looking for an interesting place to take pictures.  Right now I’m seeking out sims reminiscient of the 40’s/old Hollywood glamour days.  If you know of any, let me know!  In fact, found a fantastic sim you want to share?  Put it here in the comments.  I’m going to start a page of favorite landmarks.  Just included a brief description with the slurl. 

We all know I’m usually at the Crown.  Big surprise, I own the place.   Even if I didn’t I’d be there though.  First the island is beautiful thanks to Rrish and the Crown itself is unique and beautiful and special, thanks to Prad .  The people are what really make it special though.  Our regulars are a right bunch of nutters but let someone come in asking a question they’ll get as many replies as there are people in the bar.

So that’s my SL.  A bit of wandering and a lot of time at the Crown and Pearl with interruptions for shopping(no prad, we can’t have too many shoes ) and visiting.

What’s your SL????