LOL I know, silly title but what else would say it quite so well?  See, nothing so there you go.

As my lovely friends will attest I’ve been suspiciously absent from the Crown and from their IM windows.  I haven’t even bugged them for new Gallery photos although they will get that poke later when I get home.  Hint hint

So, where have I been?   I’ve been roleplaying in Midian  and I’ve been hanging out with a very special neko that I adore and who adores me.  We partnered last weekend and I couldn’t be happier.  We talked that night about having a wedding ceremony, he said he’d do it if I wanted it.  He offered, is this guy great or what….  So, we’ll be having a wedding and a christening at St Michael’s parish in Midian.  Details will be forthcoming when I know what they are – lol.

I know I said I’d never get married again in SL but this is different.  He’s different.  I’ll spare you all the soppy details.  He knows how I feel about him and that’s all that matters.

The Crown and Pearl Charity Auction is this weekend.  We’ve had quite a few people sign up to be auctioned off.  It’s a good cause, Cancer Research so come out on Sunday and bid on someone or just dump some lindens in the donation box.  The Auction itself is Sunday at 1pm SLT at the C2P on Angel Square.  Join the Crown and Pearl group for updates on the auction and all the other great events and DJs.

The Gallery of Light theme should be changing this weekend.  The new theme is Respect.  The artwork I’ve seen so far is amazing.  We have a new addition to the gallery; Elise Capalini.  Welcome Elise, we’re happy to have you join the family.

The Angel Square market/mall is open and starting to fill in.  If you are looking for store space let me know.  Come down and take a walk through the gallery and the stores opening, there’s some truly cute items there.

So that’s what’s new and notable in my world for now.

Quick update:  I’m 3 days without a single complaint!  Woohoo Go me!

As the end of 2008 approaches I thought it might be nice to make a list of what has happened this year.

Some were happy events, some not so happy.  Some I’d like to forget and some I never will.

It’s been an interesting year.  Let’s see if 2009 is just as interesting.

2008 Events

Got married

Got divorced

Bought Angel Square

Bought Baileys Reach

Crown and Pearl moves to Angel Square

Crown and Pearl hotes charity Date Auction 

Crown and Pearl raises over 1Million Linden for Cancer Research

Crown and Pearl moves to Crown and Pearl

Crown and Pearl turns 1 yr old

BL hits the airwaves as a Crown and Pearl DJ

Aribeth and Hell give birth to Seren

Prad has his first art show at the Cannery, followed by his second at Twilight

BL, Aribeth, Prad, Rrish, BD all turn 2 

Bailey Dazy becomes Catwalker Wrath

Prad closes Amodica in order to re-launch in 2009

Fireworks at the Crown and Pearl

Nuclear war head blows up the Crown and Pearl(Prad!!!!) 

Gallery of Light Opens on Angel Square

Crown and Pearl hosts Uncover Magazine Launch

Crown and Pearl hosts CRY America Charity Event

Landsend Korobase has 1st showing at Twilight Gallery

It’s been a busy and wonderful year.  Thank you to everyone who has helped make 2008 so fantastic!

Love you all….

Bails <3 

Fear .  It’s gripped all of us at one time or another.   Whether it’s a fear of heights, spiders or any number of other tangible things we are all afraid of something.   Reluctantly we’ll admit to these things because we know that the person we are admitting it to has a similar fear of their own.   If your afraid of spiders, having the person who isn’t afraid of spiders tell you it’s in your head, it’s irrational and to get over it is not helpful.  Of course that person is deathly afraid of heights and will not go anywhere near a window over 5ft off the ground.   To you, this is irrational and in their head because you jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

We all have our fears.  Some of us confront them straight on in the hope of taming them so that we can live our life without this gripping fear that prevents us from living life to the fullest.  Some of us simply learn to work around them.  We make do with what we’ve got.

What about those intangible fears though?  The ones that you can’t point to and say, “see I’m terrified of that”.   These are the most crippling emotions.  These are the ones we won’t admit to.   Admitting to them strips a layer of shadow and wall from us and lets the world see inside us.   At least a small piece.  It also makes us vulnerable.  Vulnerable to anyone who wants to take advantage of us.  Admitting these fears gives them an open door.

Fear .  The new theme for the Gallery of Light.  I asked the artists to show me their fears.   I asked them to bare a little piece of their souls for us.  The meaning behind each photo is their own.  It is up to them to share or not that meaning.

My entry is attached to this post.  My fear:  Being alone.  As everyone who knows me knows, I am single in RL as well as SL.   This is my choice and most of the time I am happy with it.   As the holidays approach though it becomes more and more difficult to be completely happy not having anyone to share all of this with.   I have wonderful friends and a loving family but it’s not the same.   I’ve been single in SL now for the longest period of time since joining 2 years ago.   Quite frankly, I was thrilled to finally be single again.  I was finally able to do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted.   With all of that comes Loneliness though.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to get married in SL again, I don’t even want to partner someone for romantic reasons again.  I do crave the companionship, the someone to cuddle with, share a funny moment or just talk to.   I love knowing someone is their waiting for me, waiting to share the latest news, a dance at the Crown and Pearl or just a cuddle on the couch and talk.  I will laugh it off with my friends saying that it doesn’t bother me, I’m happy as I am, I don’t need anyone but them but none of that is really true if I’m totally honest. 

So, I’ve bared my soul to all of you.   The pictures will go up this weekend, most likely sometime on Saturday.   Stop by the Gallery and take a look.  I think you’ll be impressed.

That’s the new theme for the Gallery of Light.   I asked each of the artists to show me/us what they are afraid of.

It’s funny, I can choose a theme but when it comes to creating a pic for it, I’m at a loss.   I certainly don’t have a lack of fears.  If I think about them too hard and for too long it almost seems I’m afraid of everything.  

Fear of failure:   No one wants to be labeled a failure.  The fear of failure keeps us from taking risks.   When bought Angel Square I was terrified.  Now it’s had it’s ups and downs and I’d like to see some changes made but for the most part, it’s a risk I’m glad I took.

Fear of being alone:   Not everyone is afraid to be alone.   Some people revel in it others simply prefer a solitary existence.  For those though that need the constant contact of other human beings, being alone can be terrifying.

Being Invisible:   No one wants to be invisible all the time.  Yes sometimes we want to hide from everyone but most of the time we want to be seen and acknowledged.  

Rejection :  Who hasn’t felt the bite of rejection at one point in their life?   Whether from a lover, friend or in business no one likes to hear, *I/we don’t want you*.

Disappointment :  If you’ve ever heard *I’m so disappointed in you* from someone you love, trust or respect then I don’t need to say anything else.   If you’ve never heard these words, then count your blessings because there is no more hollow feeling in the world.

There are countless phobias and other fears that I could go into.   I chose to talk about these because all were concepts I’d considered doing for my entry in the Gallery of Light.   What struck me though is how can I continue to be afraid of something I’ve actually experienced?  

I’ve failed at so many things it doesn’t scare me anymore.   It only makes me angry. 

I am alone and while I don’t always like it, it is my choice.   I prefer my own company as opposed to some of the offers I’ve had recently(this is a whole post itself lol).  

Am I invisible?  Hope not.  I post pictures to Flickr and I know they’ve been seen whether or not anyone comments.  

I’ve been rejected just like anyone else.  It’s not fun and certainly doesn’t feel good.   But not everyone is perfect.   We can’t all be the best at everything, someone will always be better.  

I’ve disappointed my fair share of people and feel the regret to this day.   It’s certainly not something I’m proud of and I’m careful to not do anything to warrant it again.   I’m not afraid of it happening again, I simply won’t allow it to.

So that brings me to what I will do for my entry and you are just going to have to wait…

The Gallery has been open for a month or so now and I thought it was time I talked about it for a bit.  Why did I allocate space on my island to a Gallery which doesn’t contribute to my tier payment you may ask?  The answer is simple.  There are so many talented folks who are regulars and DJs at the Crown and Pearl that I thought what better way to show that then to open a Gallery for them to show their work.

Each artist displays one piece of artwork based on a theme I determine.  In the future I may ask each of them to choose the theme.  The current theme is *Dreams*.  You know the song from Cinderella.  Dreams are wishes your heart makes…..  Well that was my inspiration.

Every couple of weeks the theme will change.  I’m not telling you what the next theme is.  You’ll have to wait and see. 

Currently the artists on display are:  Ryker Beck , Natalya Homewood , Prad Prathivi , Bailey Dazy, Aribeth Coronet , Landsend Korobase , Hellspawned Xingjian and myself.  New artists are welcome to join the Gallery.  Just drop me an IM or notecard in world.

Stop by and see the artwork by these very talented folks.  If you like what you see, well why not drop them a note and tell them.

The next theme for the Gallery of Light is Dreams.  The pictures will go up this weekend.

I was watching TV one evening and an ad for something came up playing a song from Cinderella.  That song is:

[Written by: Mack David, Al Hoffman and Jerry Livingston]
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true
So dream…

Cinderella is one of my all time favorite of the older Disney movies.  What girl doesn’t want to meet and fall in love with her Prince Charming, have a fairy godmother watching out for her and a couple mice that are good with a needle and thread.  LOL well maybe not the mice but you know what I mean.   So when I heard the song I KNEW that’s what I wanted the theme to be.  I thought it would be so easy to come up with a pic for the Gallery.  We all have dreams after all.   It wasn’t.  It was quite difficult in fact.  The pic on this post is my entry for the Gallery. 

What occured to me as I struggled to find inspiration for this was that my dreams area all very personal.  Some are silly, some are universal – peace, love, happiness etc.  But my true dreams, the ones my heart makes are all so very personal.  So instead of trying to portray one of them in a picture, I portrayed myself, sleeping and dreaming.  To share those very personal dreams would make them seem less magical less mine. 

How often do we really think about what we’re dreaming of?  Do you have a dream? 

Some of mine have come true.  Some are still there, waiting.  The one thing I realized thru this project is that we should never stop dreaming.  We shouldn’t give up on making those wishes that sit deep in our heart.

Dreams are wishes your heart makes….  No matter what your dreams are, keep them close.  Take them out now and then, dust them off and let them play in your heart.  You just never know when one of those Dreams may come true….

With so many rezz days and anniversaries it occurs to me how much we forget after a year.  So I’m going to collect yours(memories that is ).

The Crown and Pearl’s birthday is Wednesday and I thought what better way to share the memories of the last year than to collect them all in a book that we can all keep.  So… send me your stories.  The funny, the sad, the weird, and the ugly, I want them all.  Please just one per person though!!!  Feel free to send a pic or two along with it.   Keep in mind this book is going to be out for public viewing so if you don’t want someone else to see it or read it, don’t give it to me.

Send me your stories and pictures by the end of the week.  Either send me a notecard in world or leave a comment here or email me at mayfairwtch20@hotmail.com .  Please leave me an IM if you send me something so that I don’t miss it.

I’ll put them all in a book and leave it at the Crown for everyone to see.  If you ask nicely I may even give you your own.

I have so many fond memories of the last year picking just one will be near impossible but I hope that everyone can find one they want to share.  One very special memory for me is a moonlit dance in a very crowded CnP with a very special man and not noticing anyone but him.  It was a beautiful night and one I’m not likely to forget any time soon. 

The new theme will be going up in The Gallery of Light this week as well.  You’ll just have to come by and see it for yourself.

Watch for notices to go out in the Crown and Pearl group later today.