There all kinds of relationships.   Family, friends, lovers, acquaintances, peers, co-workers etc.   Each is important and impacts us in some way.  The people that fill these roles change though.   People come in and out of our lives.  Occasionally you come across someone who is truly special and holds a very strong place in your life and in your heart.   Most people would immediately assume that person to be a lover/spouse/romantic interest.   Not always.  They could simply be a friend, a close one, but a friend none the less.

Friends are not easy to come by.  I’m not talking about that long list of people on your *friends list*, half of whom you don’t know who they are.   I’m talking about the people you talk to everyday, the ones you talk to about everything, the ones whose company you want.   Losing friends is a tragedy.  When something strains that relationship and it breaks, it’s sad.   We shouldn’t let that happen.  Friends are far too important.  Lovers/spouses come and go, but your friends should always be there for you and you for them.

I’ve been single in SL for awhile now.   I’ll admit to being lonely now and then.  Especially as I saw my single friends paring up or going off and doing other things.  I’m used to it now though.  I’m finding other things to do, places to explore, pictures to take.   My addiction with PhotoShop continues. J   I won’t say it wouldn’t be nice to have someone to share those things with but it’s also nice to be able to go off by yourself and just wander.  Besides, having a relationship just to have one is not my thing.

I’ve been in SL going on 2 years now(rezz day in November).   Over that time a lot of people have come and gone from my life.   Most I remember, many I miss, some I say good riddance.  I would never wish bad things on anyone but lets face it, we aren’t meant to get along with everyone.

As fall approaches it’s a renewal for me.   Not only is it my favorite time of year but it’s also the beginning of the end for many things.   Leaves begin to fall, the days get shorter, it starts to get cooler.   The fall is a time of reflection.  The time of year when I look back at what was, the mistakes made, the joys and then forward to the possibilities in the future.  “Tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it”, Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables.  

So, as I look forward to the fall, I’m looking back too.   Everyone who has been in my life has had an impact on me.   Good and bad.  I’ve learned a lot from you all.  Again, some good things, some not so good.  Learned a lot about myself too.   I’ve made mistakes with some people.   I’ve said and done some things that while sounded good at the time, are cringeworthy to me now.  

We can all be a better friend to someone.  It’s not difficult, just takes some effort.   So, that’s what I intend to do. 

This concludes my ramblings for today.   If you haven’t talked to someone in a long time, go do it.   You’ll be glad you did.  So will they. J

I hadn’t planned to write here more than once a week.   I honestly didn’t think I’d have enough to say.   It’s been an odd week though.  I’ve been thinking about my friends a lot lately.   Maybe it was Deedee’s passing and reading the eloquent words Kitty wrote that made me really think about my friends.

How do we define a *friend*?   What makes someone go from acquaintance to friend?   Is there a rule like, if you see them/talk to them at least twice a week for more than 15mins they move off the acquaintance list and on to the friend list?   What about the person you talk to every day but never really say anything to?   You know the ones I mean.  Your entire conversation is:   Me:  hey, how are ya?  Them:  great! you?  Me:  fine thanks.. and that’s it.  Is that really a friend?   You talk everyday but what exactly do you know about each other?  What have you actually shared with each other?  I don’t really think of those people as *friends*.   Sure, we are friendly but would I ask them to speak at my funeral?   Probably not.

Those that know me, know that Prad Prathivi and I are very close.  There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.  He’s one of the most generous people I’ve met in SL.  So it saddened and angered me to read his blog post today *Used*.   There will always be people who will take advantage of a friendship or even just an acquaintance for their own benefit.   I also know there are those who want certain people on their friends list just so they can say they are there.   The very nature of Prad’s personality makes him and others like him vulnerable to this kind of treatment.   He’s right though; would it kill these people to take a few mins to just chat before asking what they want?  Everyone’s time is worth something.  But if you are going to ask someone to give up theirs for you, at least remember that they are and say thank you, or make an offer of your time to them if they need it.   It’s likely they’ll never ask but it’s the thought, the gesture that counts for something.   At least when it’s genuine.

So, what do you do in that situation?  Ignore them?  Tell the next one who IMs that way how *used* you feel?   Kick them off the friends list?  Mute them?  I doubt I could do any of these things myself.   I’d be too concerned about insulting them by not answering.  But then I tend to put other people’s feelings ahead of my own. 

So, how do you define a *friend*?   I’d love to know what you all think.

HUGS and cuddles to my friends, you all know who you are.

<3 BL