Time rolls on, people change, circumstances change.  What was once important to someone no longer is and it’s replaced by something else.  Friendships made change and evolve in time. 

I’ve seen a lot of changes in the past few months, some wonderful, some just odd and some that make me sad for the way things were.

I think the hardest change to deal with have been the people who have disappeared.  People change yes.  Priorities change yes.  Commitments are made and taken back, promises made and broken.  Bonds formed and wiped out.  It happens, I know that.  It doesn’t mean I have to like it.  If someone I’ve known for 2 years suddenly disappears without another word, I’m going to be sad.  Especially when I’ve been there for them when no one else was.  I end up asking if my friendship meant so little to them.

Why don’t I contact them you ask?  Well yeah, I could.  But when you realize every communication with them was started by you… yeah you realize they obviously DON’T want to hear from you.  So you start to wonder what you’ve done when you realize so many people you thought were friends are gone. 

It’s then that you decide that it’s time for a change and a change you find.  You find someone you love who loves you.  You find a new group of friends who are happy to have you around, and new activities which you are totally enjoying. 

So, what’s wrong with all of this?  Maybe I’m too sentimental but I don’t like losing people who were close to me.  One thing I realized however, I can’t keep blaming myself for not having spoken to or seen them.  The lines of communication go both ways.  If they had wanted to hear from me, or were curious about what I was doing, I would have heard from them.  I can’t continue to beat myself up.  I’m busy too.  I have feelings too.  So I’ll just close those chapters and move on….

I’ve seen sims that were beautiful and strange disappear leaving us with only our pictures and memories.  I miss some of these places.  They gave me a sense of peace whenever I’d visit to take pics or to simply just wander around enjoying the beauty of them.  Some disappeared before I ever had a chance to see them and now I have to be content with the flickr streams of others.  My own sim, BaileysReach is gone.  I thought I’d miss it but I don’t.  Being up there on that island made me too isolated.  I like people, I like to be around people.  Sitting on that big sim alone made me lonely so I rarely was there.  So I moved back on to Angel Square.

Speaking of Angel Square… I’ve had the pleasure of owning the sim for over a year now.  I don’t regret buying the sim for a minute.  Oh I regret certain things that were done in the beginning but buying the island… never.  I think it’s time to celebrate this.  I’m going to be making some changes to the blog (I hope) and the sim in the next couple of months so stay tuned….

As the end of 2008 approaches I thought it might be nice to make a list of what has happened this year.

Some were happy events, some not so happy.  Some I’d like to forget and some I never will.

It’s been an interesting year.  Let’s see if 2009 is just as interesting.

2008 Events

Got married

Got divorced

Bought Angel Square

Bought Baileys Reach

Crown and Pearl moves to Angel Square

Crown and Pearl hotes charity Date Auction 

Crown and Pearl raises over 1Million Linden for Cancer Research

Crown and Pearl moves to Crown and Pearl

Crown and Pearl turns 1 yr old

BL hits the airwaves as a Crown and Pearl DJ

Aribeth and Hell give birth to Seren

Prad has his first art show at the Cannery, followed by his second at Twilight

BL, Aribeth, Prad, Rrish, BD all turn 2 

Bailey Dazy becomes Catwalker Wrath

Prad closes Amodica in order to re-launch in 2009

Fireworks at the Crown and Pearl

Nuclear war head blows up the Crown and Pearl(Prad!!!!) 

Gallery of Light Opens on Angel Square

Crown and Pearl hosts Uncover Magazine Launch

Crown and Pearl hosts CRY America Charity Event

Landsend Korobase has 1st showing at Twilight Gallery

It’s been a busy and wonderful year.  Thank you to everyone who has helped make 2008 so fantastic!

Love you all….

Bails <3 

*Wow, it’s so quiet here tonight!*  I’ve heard this dozens of times sitting at the Crown and Pearl just chilling out.  This out of the mouth of someone fairly new to the Crown.  Someone who sees a group of folks sitting and chatting as a *quiet night*. 

A crowded dance floor isn’t what makes the place special.  The sploder going non-stop isn’t what makes the place special(although it does help pay the bills! lol)  DJs everynight isn’t what makes the place special.

What makes the Crown special are the people who are there.  As Lands said one evening, it’s not the quantity but quality of people there that makes it a good night.  You can have 3 people in the place and have a great time or 30 and walk away feeling cold.

Now I won’t speak for other bars/clubs.  We don’t have hosts and we don’t spam everyone to tip this or that.  If you like the bar, put some lindens in the tip jar.  It helps keep the sim open and the music flowing.  If you like a particular DJ, tip them.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s one linden or a thousand.  It’s shows you appreciate what they are doing.

Some of my best memories at the Crown have come from nights we’ve just sat about chatting.  So if your a newcomer to the Crown, don’t run away if the dance floor isn’t full.  Come have a seat on the sofas.  You never know what we’ll be chatting about.  Politics, religion, sex, children, holidays, life, death, SL, linden labs, sports or general nonsense.  You really never know.

Take some time to get to know us and we’ll get to know you.  You’ll find that while the Crown is a great place for a party, it’s also a great place to just hang out and enjoy some good company.

So, the next time you stop by, before you comment on how quiet it seems to you because no one is dancing, check out the crowd sitting on the sofas.

Thanksgiving was yesterday here in the US and after all the turkey and fixings it’s a day in which to give thanks. 

I dedicate this post today to everyone who has made my SecondLife truly special.  The photo  with this pic was inspired by Nat.  Nat is using a similar pic for her entry in the Gallery of Lights new theme – Dreams.  It was a fantastic idea and a small miracle to get us all together at the same time!

Thank you Nat for making this happen.

Thank you to everyone who reads this blog, a small glimpse into my SecondLife.

Thank you to everyone who has commented on one of my flickr pics.  I was inspired to start taking pics and to learn photoshop and now to improve those skills by some very talented people.

It’s been my pleasure and my honor to know all of you, to call you my friends and family and to be able to share each and every day with you!

I love you all!

Thanksgiving is this week here in the states, Thursday to be exact.   It means something different to everyone. 

For many people it’s just a great meal, lots of football(the American version) and a day or two off from work.  

For others it’s the beginning of the holiday shopping season and some folks will be waiting outside stores at 4am on Friday in order to be the first in line when the doors open.   I think they’re insane btw…

For others it’s a time to give back to the community.   They’ll spend time volunteering at a shelter or food kitchen.  Some of these people only do it at this time of year but they do it, more than can be said for most of us.   Something about the holidays and the colder temperatures brings out their compassionate side for their less fortunate fellow man.

For some it’s a time for family.   A chance to reconnect with family rarely seen due to distance or circumstance.  No matter what the circumstance, family is family.  Always try to keep them close to your heart.

And for all of us, it’s a time to give thanks.   To be grateful for what we have and to show compassion to those who have nothing.  To be grateful for those in our lives, those who have touched our lives and those you’ve yet to come into our lives.

I’m taking this opportunity to give thanks for all that I am grateful for.   Family, friends I adore, a roof over my head, food to eat, a job that pays well, good health, and a few days off from work (lol).

For those of you in the states, enjoy your Thanksgiving and whatever that day means to you. 

For my friends throughout the rest of the world…  This may not be your holiday but it’s no reason you can’t join us in saying thank you to someone who has done something for you, or being grateful for something/someone in your life.  

We don’t walk this path alone.  We all have someone who has touched our lives.

After reading Lands posts about map rights and friends lists it got me thinking.  No I didn’t hurt myself, hush up!  

I’ve been in SL for 2 years now and I’ve only cleaned out my friends list once.  It’s not even a very long list considering  how long I’ve been in world.  Where I differ with Lands is that I don’t *friend* everyone that asks.  If your on my friends list it’s because we’ve spoken before.  Now I know I could hand out calling cards instead.  What is a calling card you ask?  Go to your inventory, look at the folder up on top called calling cards.  These are all the people you have friended and anyone who has you given you  their card.  Go ahead, open one, look at it.  I’ll wait.  Welcome back.   Now, you can give these out to people instead of friending them.  It will give them a way to get in touch with you without being on the friends list.  Right click the person and select give card from the pie menu.  It’s really easy.   So, if you don’t necessarily want to add someone to your friends list, give them a calling card.

Map rights…  This one can get ugly, and I know this from personal experience.  Lets say you are dating someone.  You give them map rights.  Well one evening you are  hanging out on your sofa with someone who is not your b/f or g/f.  In comes your significant other who has mapped you and didn’t notice the 2 dots, or maybe they did.  Well Lucy, now you’ve got some ’splaining to do.  Or do you?  If I give someone map rights does that automatically mean they can pop in on me any time they like?  No it doesn’t.  It means I’ve given you rights to know where I am.  If you map me and there are 2 dots, IM me before you *drop* in.  Get your mind out of the gutter   I could simply be in the middle of a private conversation.  If I’m at the Crown, go ahead and map me.  My point here is, if I’m at the Crown or out shopping drop in, the more the merrier.   But if you map me and see one or 2 dots, how about IMing me first before you drop in.  That’s just common courtesy. 

I have map rights to a number of people.  All good friends who trust me enough to give me that privilege.  If they are at the Crown, yep I’ll cheat and map them to get there quicker.   Would I ever map them if they were somewhere else?  Nope, not unless they told me to.  Have I checked to see where people are, yep, I have.  I’ll check the map before I IM them.  If I see 2 dots, I’ll leave them alone.   

Now, lets say your are dating someone and you DON’T give them map rights.  What does that say about the relationship?  Well, either you don’t trust them, you are doing something worthy of hiding or you simply don’t trust anyone.  This happened to me.  I didn’t give him map rights, we had a huge row.  I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I just didn’t trust him.  Nor did I want him following me around everywhere I went.  Course, he didn’t trust me either which is another matter entirely.  I gave him map rights in the end.  Regretted it and eventually he and I split up. 

My point is that giving map rights means you trust that person, you have nothing to hide from them.  You are also giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll act responsibly.  Remember, just because someone gives you map rights, or even that they friended you doesn’t mean you can be a pest.  Rights easily given can just as easily be taken away.

While the debate and protests over the Open Space sims rages on the rest of the world continues on.  Here’s a bit of what’s coming up this weekend on or about Angel Square.

Friday: It’s Halloween.   There will be a party at the Crown.  Prad is in charge of decorating this year.  I really don’t need to say anything else do I??  Good.  The sploder will be going, DJs will be DJing and the dead will walk again.  Wait, that’s a normal friday night at the crown.   Eh, it’ll be good times.  It’s also the last day the Crown will be on Angel Square.

Saturday:  The Crown moves.   The Crown and Pearl moves to her own island to the east of Angel Square.  Little place called….  wait for it….. Crown and Pearl. hahaha   Starting Saturday if you use the Angel Square Landmark you’ll end up in my house. lol  While I love you all to bits, I don’t need ya all hanging about while I’m gettin dressed so delete the old lMs!!!  No perving Bailey!

Monday or Tuesday:  Official Opening of the gallery at Angel Square.   Invites will go out today or tomorrow to the artists I’m asking to participate for the opening.  The point of the gallery is to give artists a chance to participate that wouldn’t  normally get an invite to a big gallery.  For that reason I will rotate artists.  That doesn’t mean you won’t come back, it just means someone else is getting a month.   I’m all about being fair here.  There will be 7 artists.  A new theme every two weeks.  As popularity grows artists will rotate so everyone gets a chance.  If you want to be considered, drop me an IM or a comment here.  The first theme is *Myself*.  In one pic, show us who you are.  Show us that piece of you that maybe we don’t see.  All work must be your own or creditted to the original artist.  For the first showing, drop your full perm pics on me and I’ll put them up.

Expect to see a notice about a bar quiz in the near future.   Maybe Sunday afternoon…..

A few people have posted about the Crown lately.  It seemed appropriate that I do the same.  After all, she’s my baby.

For those who may not know, The Crown and Pearl is the bar owned by Prad Prathivi and myself.  A place built out of love and friendship.  Built for good conversation, dancing, fishing and great friends.

It has no doors…. everyone is welcome.

It has no roof…. the sky is the limit on your imagination.

It has no walls…. we are open and welcoming

It is a bar but it is so much more, it’s a family.

DJ’s playing good music, good people laughing and carrying on, new residents learning the way of SL from friendly helpful people…

a family.

 The Crown and Pearl is a family, a family you can choose to be a part of.  Come in sit a spell, join the conversation.  If we laugh, it’s not at you, it’s with you.  It’s a family I’m proud to be a part of.

Prad and I have tried really hard to make sure the Crown is an environment that everyone wants to be a part of.  No commercialsim, no naked newbs with frenis’, not many annoying gestures.   We wanted people to want to be there. 

Thank you to everyone for helping to make it what it is today.   If I try to name you all, I’ll miss someone and feel dreadful.  So I’ll just say, Thank You!

This is kind of an aside from two of my previous posts.  Here’s my question for all of you:

Is it ok to lie to someone?

I realize this isn’t a black and white topic.  There is no short yes or no answer.  But should there be?  Think about this for a moment.  You meet someone you like, that you’d like to get to know better.  Do you tell them the truth about your situation up front and hope for the best?  Or.. do you wait until they’ve invested in a relationship only to find out it was under false pretenses?  Or.. do you never tell them and hope they don’t find out?

For me, there are things I DON’T want to know.  But some of the bigger issues I’d want to know up front.  Male in a female av, married, gay pretending to be hetero, approximate age.  I’d prefer to know this stuff up front.  Why you ask?  Because to find out later would feel like a betrayal.  I don’t want to be lied to.  I may not like what you tell me, but I’d rather here it up front.  Lets say your a male in a female av or vice versa.  Your female av and I are great friends, shopping hanging out etc.  I tell her things that I wouldn’t tell a male friend(girls are like that).  then I find out I’ve been confessing these secrets in fact, to a guy.  Woah, major betrayal.  How can I trust this person now? 

If your married, why hide it?  Ashamed of it?  Or are you just looking for a good time and figure if people know your married they’d stay away?  Some will.  Some won’t.  Me, i’m in the stay away category.  I don’t get involved with married men in RL or SL(SL married/partnered). 

The age thing I’ve talked about before.  I’m not going to rehash it again.  I met one guy in SL who was gay in RL but wanted to be hetero in SL.  He didn’t do it well.   He’s now openly gay in SL too.  He can buy my clothes anyday btw, he’s got fab taste.

So what do you think?  When is a lie ok?  Is it ever ok?  Have you ever lied to someone you are really close to and regret it now?

…yourself.

…your friends.

…your mind/wants/desires/needs

Yesterday was Prad’s party and I spent some time myself reflecting on the past 2 years.  Good and bad times, mistakes made, small triumphs, friendships made and broken.  It doesn’t seem like such a long time, 2 years until you start to  replay them in your head.  The small smile at a memory, the laugh at an old picture, the tears from a loss, the frown at would could have been, and even the anger at some lingering pain. 

I’d like to think I’ve learned from all of this.  I’m sure some of you would say I haven’t that I’m still just a silly little girl.   Hopefully some of you agree that I’ve changed, learned and grown.

It’s difficult hearing what someone thinks of you.  Oh it’s easy when they say things to your face.  Easy is the wrong word.  It’s the difference between seeing the truck hit you and simply waking up dazed and confused weeks later.  It really is easier when you see it coming.

Now I know I’m not going to be best friends with everyone I meet.  Nor will I be close friends with everyone I meet.  I can’t be, don’t expect to be.  It’s still a surprise though when I find out what some people really think of me.  I don’t suppose I should be shocked at it anymore.  I’ve been accused of riding people’s coattails and sucking up and using certain people for a long time now.  That I only want to be friends with certain people because of who they are or what they can do for me or give me.  Every time I hear it, it hurts.  The people who say it, don’t know me.  If they did, they wouldn’t say it because they know how much it hurts. 

I’m not going to apologize for loving my friends and being willing to go to the ends of the earth for them.  I will continue to do it because I like making them happy. 

I’ll just be more careful who I open up to.