Ok, so I’m a day late starting this but I’m sure you’ll all forgive me.  I’ll even do 2 posts to day to make up for it.

I didn’t do this last year and wished I had so I’m going to participate this year.  Perhaps I’ll keep up blogging again after doing this.  So, go here and check it out.  Yesterday’s question which I missed was:

"How long have you been a blogger? How has it enriched your life?"
I’ve been blogging about a year I guess now, maybe a year and a half.  I’ve certainly not been regular about it.  Though for awhile, I wrote something every day.  You do start to run out of topics though.  I’m not a fashion blog so I’m usually just writing about stuff that happens to me in SL.  I’ll stick my nose in to some topics if I think I have something to say. 

Has blogging enriched my life?  That’s kinda tough.  Sometimes I think it has, others I think it’s just another thing I don’t have time for.  When I was writing daily I felt like I was contributing in some small way.  I had a few loyal readers with an occasional spike any time the word ’sex’ showed up.  I haven’t been writing daily and really miss it so this is a great way to  jump start back into it.

If I get a few new readers that’s awesome, and thank you and Welcome to my little corner of the world. ^^ 

Cheers!

oh…. don’t tell anyone but I’m doing this from work and while I can’t read blogs unless they are in my newsfeed or leave a comment, I can write in mine.  Go figure.  So I will leave a comment on Alicia’s blog later when I get home and aren’t behind the great firewall I sit behind everyday.

Yeah I know, the title itself suggests drama.  No drama here but I do want to talk about conflict.  Nothing in particular but how we handle conflict.  What we do when we’re confronted by it what makes some of us gravitate to it and the rest run screaming away.  I’m in the later category if you were wondering.

Ok so we all deal with conflict differently.  There are the "fixers" who can’t stand the idea of those close to them not getting along and try to make the situation better for everyone.  Usually to the detriment of the person trying to fix it as many times they are seen as meddling.

There is the debater who it seems will argue just to do it.  They’ll take a contrary position and keep the conflict going for as long as anyone will let them.  The natural reaction to these folks, drop an anvil on their heads.

Then there is the bully who is in the conflict because they enjoy it.  They get a thrill over the heated exchange and potential for violence.  These folks are in it for the long haul and have no intention of letting anyone off easy.  If you find yourself in a situation with one of these, then tread carefully but get yourself out as soon as you can.

Then there is the liar.  This person will say whatever they want in order to win the argument or to ensure you don’t.  The truth is not in their bag of tricks though they may throw it out now and then.

Every conflict will have one of these individuals in it.  It’s how we deal with the conflict and them that’s important.  Now I will say straight out, I hate conflict.  I will run as far away as I can get from it.  When fleeing is not an option however I turn into ms fixit.  My job in all conflicts is to fix it.  Doesn’t matter what it is, or whether I can do anything about it, I will try to fix it.   When all else fails…. I flee.

Flee or fight.  The 2 basic instincts in all of us.  Depending on the threat one or the other is usually the best choice.  In Midian, you see one of the ‘Shadows’ with their rotating orbs of ocularity(or whatever they call them these days) you run.  Plain and simple.  Me, I see a Wolf in the middle of the street and I walk right up to it.  Silly I know but I still have all of my limbs thank you very much.

I’ve seen a number of ‘conflicts’ in Midian.  Some IC and others OOC.  Most of the OOC stems from IC stuff that someone was unhappy about.  Well, you know what…. It’s not a nice city.  Bad things happen to good people.  And even, sometimes, it’s…. a … suprise!  Yes things do happen that aren’t scripted.  If you want to attack me in Midian, then just do it.  If I don’t have time to RP, I’ll RP out of it.  If you want to know how far you can go with the beating me up, IM me.  I have limits as does everyone else.  I think we need more conflict in Midian that isn’t preplanned for months ahead of time.  That kinda of thing is fine when a lot of people are involved but geez…. can’t we have a bit of surprise?

As I mentioned in a previous post, I want to be more assertive.  Being more assertive will mean more conflicts.  More conflict means I can’t keep ‘fleeing’.  …

I promised I would write here more often so here I am.  I’ve got a few things to talk about today.

It’s getting quiet in Midian.  I would imagine it’s the same all over the grid.  Summer comes and it gets quiet on the grid.  More and more folks are out enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.   Then there are all the college kids who go home and have to get jobs to support their next year of school.  I’ve been in SL for over 2 years and I see the same thing every year.  And every year someone comes out and starts talking about how SL is dying because concurrency is down etc etc.  There is a cycle, this happens every year.  I personally plan to enjoy the fact their are fewer people on the grid.  I plan to enjoy being able to walk through Midian without the rubber band lag effect.

I’m sure there are dozens of things I could write about that are of some importance to those of you  that read these words but I’ve decided to take a different route.  I’m going to write about …. well… me.  Duh, it’s my blog.

I’m not… assertive.  No really I’m not.  Most of you who know me know that I’m not.  Ioh and I have talked about it in relation to some RP in Midian and for whatever reason, I’m just not very assertive.  I should be though.  I want to be. The questions is, can I be?   In RL as well as SL I’m a bit shy really.  Stop laughing, I am. 

I don’t really like crowds, I’ve never liked the bar scene and to be honest, I prefer to be home.  I hate trying to have a conversation in a crowd or even trying to keep up with group chat.  Home is comfortable, it’s mine and I work damn hard to have the money to pay for it.  I should use it!  And so I do.  However, that doesn’t help me be more assertive.  I don’t mean Super Bitch assertive either.  I’m talking about being the girl who is taken seriously when she speaks.  I’m talking about being the girl that others trust enough to follow.  I’m talking about being the girl who stands up front and says, "We go this way" and everyone follows her.

I know it won’t be easy.  It means stepping out of what’s easy and comfortable for me.  I enjoy a challenge though.  This will be one that’s for sure.  In any event, I think it’ll be good for me.

So I’m off on a journey this summer to find  the other me, the stronger one, the more assertive one.  The one who will probably be on a belltower in Midian…. watching.

Ok, I know I know.  Bad Blogger.  Haven’t written a word here in far too long.  Well, I’ve been busy and blogging frankly was the last thing on my mind.  So, now that things are settling back down I swear I’ll blog more regularly.  So what has kept me so busy you ask…

Building… I built a new house for Angel Square and I’m going to do all the furniture for it as well.  I’ve quite a bit of it done as well as the animations/poses in some of the furniture.  Not done yet but getting there.  The plan is to put it up on Xstreet when it’s done.  I’ll take some pics and put them in here when I have a couple of mins.

I’m also working on an urban skybox/shop space.  Right now it’s looking more like a shop.  Maybe 2 versions…..

I think I’ve gotten the structure of the tail down that I want to do.  Now it’s time to work on texturing and accessories.  The plan is to do custom orders for accessories/colors.  I’ll do ears to match as well.  If you’ve got an idea in mind for a tail you’ve always wanted but couldn’t exactly find, let me know.  If you don’t mind being a tester you’ll get a free tail at the end of this custom made to your request.

And the really big news….

Ioh and I got married last weekend.  The ceremony was beautiful, the church looked amazing, Ioh was incredibly handsome and both Dazy and Elise looked beautiful. 

It was a small service, just friends and family Sunday night at St Michaels in Midian.  The girls all waited at the den while I dressed and got ready(ie rezzed lol) while the boys were over at the church waiting for us.  I have to say my breath caught when the doors to the church opened and Elise and I walked in.  It was just beautiful.  The flowers Bianca had made lined the aisle and candles were every where. 

Having Elise ‘give me away’ just seemed so right and she was perfect.  I didn’t really know Elise prior to coming to Midian and joining the Catwalkers.  She has come to be such a close friend, she’s family.  So I had my Sister Dazy standing with me.  Dazy and I have been through so much.  She means the world to me.

Then there was Eamon.  He wrote the most beautiful service for us.  I couldn’t have asked for anything  lovelier.  He’s become a part of the family.  I couldn’t have imagined taking that step in front of anyone but him.

Ioh and I wrote our own vows and I couldn’t have been prouder to stand with him at the altar, say those vows and become his  Wife.

It’s been almost a week now and I couldn’t be happier.  Go check out my Flickr for pics of the wedding.  We’ll try and have a party for everyone soon as schedules allow.  Maybe something small at home.  

I’ve got loads of other news and stuff to stay tuned for some additional newness on the blog.

Promise not to disappear again for so long…

When is enough enough?  How far do you go before you do something?  It seems that a number of my friends are starting to draw some lines for themselves. 

Prad  has decided not to write on his blog anymore.  I for one will miss his humour.  It’s really a shame that it’s come to this for him.  He’s incredibly bright and creative and such a lunatic; we are losing something in the blogosphere when he decides to "crawl back into oblivion" as he put it.  But, it’s his choice and he’s decided that enough is enough.  I give him credit for being able to walk away and focus on something else.

For me, I’ve made a lot of these "enough is enough" decisions lately.  I contacted someone recently and while the initial exchanges were harsh, I  think we’re on the right track now.  I simply got tired of wondering and getting angry. 

Other folks I’ve spoken to  and that are friends have called it quits in SL, and just walked away.  I couldn’t walk away.  I have too many responsibilities  to just walk away.  Besides, I don’t want to.  I’ve got people I love and who love me, friends I adore, an island I call home and it makes me happy. 

Really though, how do you know when enough is enough?  It doesn’t matter what it is, Blogging, SL, Facebook, Twitter, Plurk the list goes on.   When you see friends self-destructing or hurting so badly you hurt for t hem.  When is enough, enough?  I suppose we all have our breaking points.  Over the years mine have shifted and moved.  Things I once tolerated or overlooked I won’t now. 

For me, enough is enough when I see something I can change.

When is enough for you?

Every couple of months a new topic, or one revisited, comes up that gets blogged and sends everyone into fits.  The most recent is again the Great Debate on Freebies.  Prad stirred the pot quite a bit with his post, Entitlement and loads of other bloggers have commented or written on their own blogs about it.  I’m not gonna debate the worthiness of freebies with anyone.  They have their place and use and if someone works really hard at making something and then decides to just give it away…. Well who am I to tell them they can’t or shouldn’t? 

There are many things in the SL economy that annoy me to no end but I’m not going to waste a lot of time complaining to the internet about it.  I stopped doing hunts ages ago.  If my friends are doing one and want company, sure I’ll hop my way around with them but I don’t feel compelled to continue.  I have to say though, I’ve found a few new favorite stores through these things so they aren’t all bad.  But saying that, I won’t waste hours and  hours going to hundreds of stores for stuff that I may or may not end up keeping.  Just as an aside, a list of all the participating stores in a hunt would be great because even if I don’t go on the hunt, I can always visit these stores later when they aren’t as crowded and can do some serious shopping.  Just sayin…

The problem isn’t the freebie in my mind.  The problem is the people.  The consumers who have gotten so engrossed in the ‘hunts’ that they have forgotten that these are actually stores, not just buildings holding a hunt a gift that you have to find.  The designers in an effort to improve sales or traffic or both keeping improving the free gift they give out or join more hunts.  The quality of some of the free gifts I’ve seen is just stellar so kudos to all of you for the higher standards you’ve set.  But when your freebies are so damn good, I don’t need to buy anything!  Then there are the bloggers.  I use the fashion blogs just like everyone else to see what’s new and for ideas.  No, I don’t like seeing something on every single blog and usually those items i’ll avoid.  At least for a few months anyway.   The point I’m making here is that we ALL have contributed to this feeling of "Entitlement" as Prad puts it. 

For me, freebies taught me how to build.  I took things apart, figured out how they were done and then tried to duplicate them.  Once I realized I could make a copy, well then I had to make my ‘own’.  I don’t have a store and I don’t sell anything on Xstreet but I do know how to make some stuff.  Clothing and shoes and hair escape me mainly because of the amount of photoshop time and patience and frankly skill needed that I just don’t have right now.  Right now I’m focusing on making some animations for myself.  When I’m happy with them, maybe I’ll sell them or give some away, who knows.  The fact is I learned how to do things by pulling other peoples work apart and seeing what made it work or how it was put together.  I also spent hours watching Prad build and learned sooo much from him, seeing how he puts something together.  So, the freebie served a purpose for me.

All that being said, I’ll still grab a freebie that I see that is amazing or that I just simply have to have.  To be honest though, I’d pay for these items if they weren’t free. 

Instead of everyone getting angry with each other, designer and consumer alike, or attempting to point fingers or throw the blame around, why don’t you all start the designers consortium as someone suggested in Prad’s comments.  Get together and talk about how to increase business or traffic or marketing or PR.  Talk this stuff out together, ask your customers what they think, work together rather than against each other.  Get some folks together who know how to run a successful business in SL and RL.  Come up with new ways of doing things.  This is SL, if we can fly then surely there are different ways of marketing your product.

I’ve met quite a few designers in SL and without exception they are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met.  They are also incredibly talented and busy and smart.   I’d love to see a group of them get together to sort out some of the issues with SL business. 

Look what they accomplish for RFL every year….

Imagine what they could do for the SL economy….

This may be a rather rambling post so bear with me if you choose to continue to read.  If you’d rather be on your way, have a great weekend!

First, a much overdo thank you to Prad , AGAIN, for fixing the blog.  When I moved it over to baileylongcloth.com some stuff got broken and I wasn’t in a position to fix it.  He was super tired but took the time to do it so a HUGE hug for him.  Love ya Praddles!

I have to also say welcome back to Ioh. ^^  I’m so glad your back online love, you’ve been missed.  I fully intend to monopolize all of your time this weekend!  Love you.

Ari, Welcome back to DJing hon!  It was great to hear you the other night.  I know we don’t get to see each other much in world lately but I’m always be here for  you.

I’ve been building again lately.  A new house and all the furniture this time.  It’s been a lot of fun to do this one.  It’s different from anything i’ve done before.  I’ll post some pics to Flickr this weekend.  I have a lot of detail work to finish up this weekend but I wanted to get it down on the ground so I could enjoy it.  And now that Ioh is back online, ‘we’ can enjoy it.  Once the house it done I’ll go back to working on tails and ears.  I’ve sketched some ideas and made a few notes so we’ll see how that goes.  If you have any ideas for some custom ears/tails you would like to see, let me know!

I wrote a post awhile ago about perceptions.  It was based on a conversation I’d had with someone the night before.  What struck me in that conversation, and the reason for the post was how wrong I was in my perceptions of her.  I’m not going to say her perceptions of me were wrong, because they were hers, not mine.  We all have perceptions of people that are either based on what we see, what we’re told, our own interactions with them or finally on who we are ourselves.  So, I wrote the post and asked for comments as I always do.  I’ve been a bit surprised at the comments.   I’m not going to link to the post, if you want to read it, it won’t be hard for you to find. 

After reading the most recent comments last night I was… hurt, angry, confused, and felt like I’d been hit by a truck.   I was really surprised by what I’d read.  Perhaps I’m naive.  I think I’m a good person.  Yes, I have my faults, we all do but the bottom line, I’m a good person.  That’s the simple fact of it, I am a good person and when someone tells me they are my friend, well I take that for truth.  Apparently, I was wrong.  So, while my initial reaction was to reply to the comments, I decided not to.

Then I read Ahuva’s comment this morning and smiled.  Thank you Ahuva for the kind words.  Belive me, I don’t know everything!  I do know the panic though when you’ve deleted half the house or changed the textures or moved something and can no longer find it.  I remember the folks who helped me back then.  It’s my turn to share what I know and help where I can.  Not to mention I love doing it.  So IM me whenever you want.  I’m never to busy for my friends.

While I do care what people think of me and how I’m perceived I’ve realized that my friends are my friends and they’ve accepted who I am and love me regardless of my faults. 

I won’t censor my blog or the comments.  Comments are always welcome all I really ask is that they are on track with the blog post itself.  If your in doubt or would prefer to comment to me directly, just email me.  I honestly don’t bite, much.

Have a great weekend everyone!

The past couple of days have not been the best.  Ioh and I were supposed to get married this Sunday.  However technology has intervened and the wedding has to be postponed.  Ioh’s laptop died.  He’s taken it in for service but while he waits, he has no internet.  No SL.  No email.  No IM.  Nada.  He could be offline for up to 2 weeks too.  He borrows pcs when he can to email me but when you are used to seeing and talking to someone every day, when your life has become tied to theirs, you miss them when you can’t be with them or see them.  I really miss him and it’s only been a couple of days.

Last night though…. last night was awesome.  I had sooo much fun.  Doing what you ask?  Well the girls in the Pride threw me a bridal shower.  Elise asked me to meet her at the church, she wanted to talk to about Rena.  Well we did, for a few minutes but then she told me about some mysterious package left for me at the den.  What a surprise to walk in the den and see them all dressed up, big spread of food, the Congratulations banner.  To say I was choked up is an understatement. 

There was much laughter, LOTS of champagne, cupcakes and chocolate and of course the stripper.

A big Thank You to MJ for taking one for the team and getting his groove on.  Seeing your blueness shaking itself all over the den brought tears to many eyes.  No really, it did.

It was a fun wonderful evening.  So thank you ladies(and gents cause Arre was there as well) for everything.  You all mean the world to me. 

The pictures will be up on flickr later today.

If you think things look different around here you’re right.  Theme change happened last night.

A few other changes as well… the site has moved.  It’s now www.baileylongcloth.com   .  Well it’s my personal blog so that only makes sense right?  And since I moved it, time to change the look.  And just to really confuse you all, change the email address too.  Leave a comment if you want the address and I’ll send you some mail.

It’s a new beginning for the blog.  I’m going to try to write more often.  Mostly I’ll be writing about SL, may even post some pictures. 

So, there ya go.  New theme for the blog, new address.  Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

I had an interesting conversation with someone last night.  I’ve not known them long and until recently had never really spent much time talking to them.  I don’t know how it started but we’ve talked a lot recently about everything, SL, RL you name it.  I’ve always liked her but after the discussions we’ve had lately, I’m happy and proud to call her a good friend.

So, last night we’re talking and she tells me she had been intimidated by me when we’d first met.  What???? Me??? I was shocked.  I consider myself the least intimidating person in the world.  In fact, had anyone asked me, I would have said the same about her.  I didn’t ask why she thought that and she didn’t elaborate either.  We’re beyond that, at least I think we are.  She and I will talk more, maybe I’ll ask her why she thought that, maybe not.

Well her admission to me got me thinking.  It’s not the first time I’ve had someone tell me they were intimidated by me.  It’s happened a few times come to think of it.  I didn’t understand it then, don’t understand it now.  I’m the least threatening person I know!  I know I tend to be quiet in large group chats.  Mostly cause if I’m talking I can’t keep up with everyone else. LOL  Not to mention I’m also multitasking.  There are only so many hours in the day and with most spent at work with acess to NOTHING, that means when I’m  on the PC at home, multi-tasking.  I can photoshop while in SL or do homework so just cause I’m quiet, doesn’t mean i’m sitting on my side of the monitor thinking of ways to plot your eventual downfall.  With the exception of a few people I usually/generally like everyone, talk to everyone.  I’m kind and friendly to noobs.  I don’t go off on people and get all uber bitch.   Usually after talking to me for 5 minutes they’ll say “Hey you aren’t the bitch “so and so” said you were”  or “Wow, your actually nice”.  It’s really rather odd when someone says that to you. How on earth do you respond to something like that?

So why am I intimidating?  It’s a totally serious question, for anyone who knows me in SL.

EDIT:  At Lands’ request I’ve removed her comments from this post.