Well perhaps not entirely new but life has certainly improved since I last wrote here.  It’s been awhile and I’d nearly forgotten about this blog.  I’ve been contemplating whether or not to even keep this going over the past few days.  I decided to keep it and hopefully I can keep up with it.  Lots has happened in the last 6 months or so, let’s see if I can update all of it.

First, I’ve got a job!  Finally, after a year I’m employed again and I truly love my job.  It’s an amazing place and the people are awesome.  I’m working crazy hours but I don’t mind, the money is great and the work is fun.  What more can you ask for really?

Ok, so SL.  Lots and lots has gone on.  The Crown is gone.  Prad and I both agreed it was time to let it go.  It wasn’t being used and neither of us really had the time to put into it.  While I was sad to see it go, times and people change and their focus alters.  Club C2P is still on Angel Square and perhaps it will get used, perhaps it won’t.  It’s my sim so it’s really up to me to promote it if I want to.  Do I want to being the question. 

Midian:  Midian has had it’s up and downs in the last 6 months.  I’m still Matron of the Catwalkers but I have to admit I’ve been more than ready to pack it in on more than one occasion.  Being FL is an awful job sometimes.  I’m not going to quit though, I’ll stick it out and work on improving things in the faction and on sim if I can.  I want to see Midian thrive and flourish.  Regardless of what has happened on sim both ICly and OOCly, it’s still a good place with good rp’rs.  It’s not easy to find another rp sim that offers what Midian does.  Believe me, I’ve looked.

Catwalkers:  The faction is strong again with a lot of new and old cats.  I’m not sure if I feel like we are a really cohesive, close group yet.  That’s something I need to work on, it’s my responsibility as FL to foster that and I haven’t lately.  I’ve been so busy with work and some personal issues that I’ve not paid enough attention to the faction and that I need to change.  I’ve got a few ideas so we’ll see where it goes.

Friends:  Friends come and go.  Over the course of our lifetime we have people who come in and out of our lives and touch us hopefully for the better.  There are two people who are no longer in my life who dramatically altered it and how I look at things.  The fact that they are no longer in my life saddens me to an extent.  I put a lot into those relationships, or tried to.  They would tell you something different.  They would tell you that my only focus was on destroying their relationship, that I was somehow jealous.  That’s where they would be wrong.  The fact that they believe that means they didn’t/don’t know me at all.  Yes, those friendships ended primarily because of what I said and did.  I won’t argue that.  My motivation for it though isn’t what they think.  I’m not going to publish all the gorey details here of what happened.  It’s personal and shall remain so.  Am I sorry I hurt them, yes I am.  Would i do things differently if I had the chance, probably.  Will that change anything?  No, not at all.

Regrets and Decisions:  I talked to a good friend recently who told me I was completely transparent, that I can’t hide how I feel or what’s going on.  He’s right, I can’t.  I try to be cryptic and mysterious and fail miserably.  I simply am who I am.  The one thing this recent ‘drama’ taught me, while some decisions may be the ‘right’ thing to do, doing them is wrong.  So, while I did what I thought was right, I shouldn’t have done it.  I should have just kept my mouth shut and kept things secret.  Why didn’t I?  Simple, I was asked, “Don’t I have a right to know?”  Well the answer to that is also simple, yes you do but it wasn’t my place to tell.  Of course, I would also have to reply, “Don’t ask the question if you don’t want the answer.”  Because really, once that question is asked, the person you ask is doomed regardless of what they say.  If they keep the information to themselves, they are hiding things and a liar.  If they tell the truth, then they are jealous and undermining.  It’s a no win situation for the person holding the information.  I regret hurting someone but at the end of the day, I told the truth.  I’m willing to pay the price for that.  A friend of mine told me he saw this coming months ago.  Perhaps he’s right and it was inevitable that this would happen,  that all this would come out eventually and that I would be the one blamed for it.   So be it.

I think that’s enough rambling for my first post back into blog world.  More to come, I promise.