This wasn’t the post I planned to post next but it seems it’s the one I need to post.
I wonder if you’ve heard the saying, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I said in my last post, and in my comment I wanted civil discussion here and for the post part, I’m seeing it. However, I’m also seeing comments whose only purpose is to defame, degrade, and attack people who choose to comment here.
I’m seeing my friends attacked simply for being my friend. That is no way to get agreement or to sway people to your side of an argument. Personal attacks do nothing but to inflame and make you look like a fool.
As I see it, Ioh took issue with Midian and also with me. The issue with me is personal and should have stayed private. I won’t discuss the details here or anywhere else within the public domain that I have not already stated. As far as the issues that he sees in Midian… it’s hard to know if these are valid arguments or simply fueled by animosity and hate.
Ayami, Ari, BD have been wonderful friends and I cherish and value them for it. Each I’m sure have had issues with Midian and me in the past and each and every time I’ve been involved, we’ve talked and worked things out. As far as Midian is concerned, I have no power or control over anything except the Catwalkers. The city itself and how it’s run, i’ve got nothing to do with. To be honest, I have my own sims to worry about.
So, if you want to have an actual discussion about what may or may not be wrong in Midian, SL, RL or the Moon then fine, have a discussion here, I welcome it. If all you want to do is throw barbs and jabs and insults then do it on -your- blog. I’ve decided not to close comments or delete any. Why? Simple, the character of a person comes out in the way they respond and the words they use. I’m not going to hide behind my admin rights to delete. Just like I try not to hide behind consent in Midian.
I’ll repeat my earlier quote for those who may have missed it…
”If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
There’s also the saying, if you can’t take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen. :p
You can find all sorts of sayings to shape your high and mighty views. But all it looks like and sanctimonious bullshit.
And no, I don’t think keeping it private works here. It obviously hasn’t, since all it’s done is allowed more crap to fester. But good, enjoy your back stabbing friends. They are, afterall molded in your image.
While not true to human nature, I would venture to say that people are far too concerned with themselves. This goes for SL, RL, and Midian (though not so necessarily the Moon). Everyone needs to lighten up and learn to relax a little (read: lot) about themselves, their characters, personal interaction, etc.
Having recently left Midian to venture the world of SL to see what has changed in my absence, I’ve found that a lot of the places I once held dear have rotted and crumbled due to the selfish actions of the few placing themselves over the many.
I’m not saying that one should give selflessly of themselves at all times, as sometimes (like myself) you need to think of yourself, but one should always do so in an effort to think about what is best for those around them. My own leaving Midian was for my sanity, and because I knew that if I stayed while in the mindframe I was in, I’d simply become a burden to those I hold dear. Some people resent my actions, but I’d hasten to remind them that the alternative would have been far messier.
“My own leaving Midian was for my sanity, and because I knew that if I stayed while in the mindframe I was in, I’d simply become a burden to those I hold dear. Some people resent my actions, but I’d hasten to remind them that the alternative would have been far messier.”
On some level, yes, I agree with that. On another, it’s also just the plain fact that, after so much history in one spot, after seeing friends come and go, and seeing some that stay change for the worse in Midian, it gets harder and harder to justify going there any more. Losing friends, even a person I thought I loved doesn’t happen over night, contrary to the various opinions on here that are obviously set up against me. After all, once you find you have to leave before Midian and its effects on you and people you considered friends drives you more and more insane, those that you leave just somehow automatically put you on their list of people to hate.
Is it different for me? Well, let’s face it, after 3 years in Midian, I had experience enough seeing the fall out of friends on there. Each time, it was a similar pattern, particularly as I had seen in the CWs, prior to Bails, Elise, even Linds and Tobers as Matrons in their own respective eras. After Rith left, she was, and still is reviled as the most ‘brutal’ and ‘militant’ Matron in IC imfamy, and OOCly, still pretty well hated by the few handful that actually were around in her era. And that hatred spreads through the new recruits, assuming the ask anything of the history of the Pride. Ex CWs always get ignored, and the recruits given warning not to RP with them, so they just fuel the hatred from one generation of recruits to the next. Now, if this was RL, we would call this sort of thing harvesting prejudism, and there are places that still harvest centuries out prejudisms. Midian, being the microcosm of a reflection of life that it is, is as much based on clique cronyism as it is plotted out prejudism. That being said, why do people, once scorned, try to go back?
As one having experience in that attempt can attest to, there’s first and foremost a certain sentimentality to the place. There were old haunts that were fun to be at in one era, but now have lost their meaning, yet the memories are still there, the stories still replay themselves when you visit them. People may call it being focused on the past, but you know, history isn’t all bad, and you can learn from it, especially when you can put together the patterns of the old that still wind up poisoning the new. When you see those patterns continue on, of course the past haunts in a creepier was then. And thus, when you experience first had being on the side of those that at one point you shunned because they left, or were forced to leave, for whatever reason, your gain a new perspective, and now I’m not proud (not that I ever was, but was in a different position and perspective then) of my own place while in the Pride of shunning its former members. Having been on the shunned part ever since October, when I first tried to make amends with Bails, Elise, Eamon, and countless others in what ultimately were fruitless efforts. And then even more so when I tried to come back in late November-early December with an attempt to start an RP with Ioh having his memories wiped as a clean slate, and starting a new direction as Joe. That direction was always thwarted because, despite trying to suppress the history ICly, it’s still there OOCly, and, in the eyes and minds of those that would still hold to memory of Ioh ICly and harvest their hatred of me OOCly, there was absolutely no way I could get a fair deal to return and have much fun. Sure, there were a few times, but often, it was outweighed by how much of my prior Midian experience was saturated in the CWs, to which people with grudges against me worked to their advantage, or were too overdramatic in their own hurt for me to ever shake off that history and start anew.
Yes, I admit to having my Ioh and my alts come around the Den. They were quite telling of the bitter and vicious hatred that my former friends have for me. That I can just barely set foot on there, and already be stormed by angry IMs of “Why are you here you bastard!” or “Bullshit, you’ve come to do us harm, you meanie!” Or, “I would have loved to RP with the ‘old’ [CW] Ioh, but not this new [non-CW] Ioh.” And then threats, and actual callings to Admins, just for simply setting foot on the Den, and nothing more. Only one time was there anyone one that actually ICly played out the confrontation, and that was a pledge, who I’m sure in IMs and after the conflict got the warning that Ioh, or my alts are ‘bad people’ that can’t be trusted, and intend to do harm… so on and so forth. They had completely forgotten how to play out a scene ICly, or more to the point, they didn’t want to give a chance for it. And the few times it was quasi played out, I was distracted by hate-filled IMs from CWs that weren’t even on the Den to watch or partake in the conflict. How can anyone possibly play out a scene with any amount of fairness when they got people OOCly manipulating things behind the scenes? You can’t. You can’t do much at all when people harvest that sort of level of hatred against you. It only bred contempt more and more. But, it was at least a test to show and prove that the CWs no longer have people I can consider or trust as friends any more, so at least it taught that lesson.
Beyond that, I’ve found a new place that doesn’t have so much drama attached. I’m not going to give the name of the place here, for fear people that hate me here might try to migrate out of Midian and try to harvest that hatred in the new place.
So, with that, hopefully, it says my peace. Here and can leave Bailey’s reach alone. It is, now, enemy territory, even after nearly 10 months of once being my home.
Ioh: I had not composed my statement in response to yours, as your demeanor on Bailey’s last entry left a bitter taste in my mouth. Bailey asked for any comments on Second Life, RL, and so-forth, and this was my addition. As you’ve personalized it, I feel compelled to comment on your situation.
What I find striking is that you repeatedly, in what I’ve seen you post here and on your flickr, refuse to accept any wrong-doing on your part. Everything is Bailey’s fault, or Ara’s fault, or Ayami’s fault, or those darn dreadful Catwalkers’ faults. Could it have been handled better by all involved? Probably. Are you absolved of any guilt in this? Definitely not.
From the Midian side of things, I saw what began as a personal fight grow into a one-man rally against a Faction, but still kept internal, as in between the Catwalkers and yourself. But beyond that it became a public display of your dislike for the faction. The Catwalkers were content with just ignoring you, but you became increasingly belligerent in your vocal criticism.
For me, your refusal to keep it “in the family” as it were is where things began to become less about your personal dissatisfaction with the Catwalkers and more about your attempts to bring the Catwalkers into a bad light. Instead of letting people make their own determinations, you repeatedly and forcefully vented your opinion on the situation as if it were rule of law, to the point of even contacting new Catwalker members to tell them they’d better leave before they became “mindless drones”.
This is not an opening volley, Ioh, but a carefully constructed statement from someone who has no vested interest in the Catwalkers. The fact is that you went too far and for that I find it ironic that you would then rail against those who, after such treatment, would be on the defensive.
Bailey: I appologise for my above comment, as I don’t wish this to become yet another war waged on the field of your blog. If you wish to delete it, I will hold no contempt. You know that once I decide to comment, it’s rare that I can hold myself back.
Lydia: No need to apologize for anything. I’ve decided not to delete comments on the blog. You are free to say what you like here. What kind of person would I be if I only allowed the positive comments about me?
A politician.
If you don’t think I take blame for my own actions, you don’t know me. I speak here on what I perceive, from my perspective. Like Bailey herself says, there are multiple sides to every story. I just have the unpopular perspective on this forum. As far as what Bailey said in the previous review of things, she summarized it adequately enough.
What you, Ayamy, and Aribeth have not figured out is to continue to try and point out my faults is just going to lead to pointing out your faults as well. Aribeth and Ayami first started it on my Flickr with comments that, in light of talks with Silua, Ioh/Joe’s IC boss then, I agreed with her then that the ‘high road’ was to delete them and try to ignore them. However, the more I think about it, and after seeing to it leading to Aribeth ranting to me about the comments being deleted like a spoiled little brat, then you know what? Maybe it was time to not turn the other cheek. Tit for tat gets boring. I do find it rather stupid. But, apparently for some people, they don’t shut up until you put up.
I don’t think I’m absolved of any guilt. That’s just a ridiculous presumption, a prejudice I’m finding all too often with old, so-called friends. It’s becoming my meter of figuring who real is or is not a true friend by whether they only show themselves irate to me, of if they can actually calm down and get past the bullshit to actually listen and not always blame me. I know I’ve made mistakes. Success is not measured in how often a person fails, but failure is by how few times a person attempts to pick themselves back up and regroup to find a new opportunities that, in dwelling on failure, you never will see.
It’s a level of maturity I may not have had, though thought I did and would have wanted back then, before the shit hit the fan. Bailey herself can tell you, that much of that time I felt life a failure. For her to claim ignorance to that now, and to listen to people babble and blame me, as if I didn’t know I’ve failed, as if I didn’t try to make amends, as if I didn’t try to move on. Yeah, to just see me in that one dimensional tyrade of all those that swarm to the defense of Bails, as if she can’t fend for herself, is just ridiculous. Hell, I’ve been trying to put my mind as much away from the whole mess a few months back, but nope, people can’t seen to forgive. And it’s really becoming harder and harder to try and be forgiving as well, the more times I see people like Aribeth, Ayami, and even you, Lydia, ALWAYS trying to put blame on me, ALWAYS. Because that’s all you seem able to do. You can’t see my story, you can’t even begin to see me as a person. All you can see is I screwed up. That’s all you see.
Put yourself in my shoes, at least ONCE. Walk with being scorned by so-called former friends. Feel as the rip out your heart and put the dagger to your back with their constant anger, hatred and accusations. Put yourself there, and then talk. Otherwise, you have no clue what you’re talking about. You have no damn clue.
And that’s why I hold no privacy policy, because all I see from trying to suppress my side is that people just continue to fester in their hatred for me and fuel the fires, far more worse that if I never said anything at all. Why? Because it seems like most of you just love to kick someone when they’re down, poking that seeping dog (or cat <.< ) while he lays there. So, if you want antagonism, continue prod. Otherwise, if you have any more substance than just swarming for a fight, then maybe, just maybe you might get something closer to 'civil.'
But for now, I even question 'civility', seeing that as a cop out for being real, and finally getting to the core of what's wrong. Linds once said I'm the only one that could fix things, by coming to talk. I toyed with the idea. But it was Dui that made the better suggestion in my opinion, as the only one post-Bailey relationship fallout that allowed me on the Den and gave a shit enough to talk and listen to me. And her advice, was to have no more dealings with any of you, to take a leap of faith, and go elsewhere. Great advice, probably the best I ought to follow.
So, you want to strike a deal, Lydia? You don't respond to me, and I don't respond to you. No more responses to me from anyone, and I'm gone for good.
“So, you want to strike a deal, Lydia? You don’t respond to me, and I don’t respond to you. No more responses to me from anyone, and I’m gone for good.”
I agree with this. What I don’t agree with, however, are the lies. Well, not even so much lying – but putting your own spin on the truth to make yourself look better and the people you’re arguing against to look bad. Lydia is right. Throughout all of this mess, I’ve not once read anything along the lines of “This happened, it was bad, Bails/Ari/Aya did this to hurt me, but in turn I admittedly said this in response, and it was wrong.” You don’t believe you’ve done anything wrong, Ioh, yet we’re all expected to get on our knees and kiss *your* ass. I don’t think so. THAT is why you’re getting responded to – not because we want to antagonise you, but because we want to put *our* version of the truth into public light.
For instance, the messages I left to you on your Flickr almost a month ago regarding the MCCG. At the time of me making that original comment, claiming the MCCG were illigitimate because nobody likes them, it was a joke. An OOC joke at that. And at the time of me saying so, we were friends. Had I of known it would’ve caused offense, I wouldn’t have put it. I genuinely believed that you would either respond with something amusing back, or ignore it. Instead you completely flew off at the deep end to me, Ioh, and started saying that the Catwalkers weren’t legitimate either for one hatred filled reason or another.
I’m in the Catwalkers, and I enjoy being a part of the faction. If somebody says something about the faction that I disagree with, I’m going to argue against it.
So after Ayami got involved, and more words were shared between the three of us, you deleted the comments. I believe you didn’t do this just to end the subject, you did so because you can’t take any critisism in response. You’re the Master of dishing out – but you can’t handle receiving it.
Either a day or two later, you IM me in-world. You started the conversation as friendly enough, saying Hi and asking how I was. It was ME that chose to make something more of that conversation and ask why you deleted the comments. I wish I hadn’t now, because once again I was met with your own hatred filled statements at the Catwalkers. Once again I argued it. And this time you muted me.
Fair enough. End of friendship, and end of conversation. Or so I thought. Just two hours later, I received the following IM from Ashur Kentoku.
“[2010/01/02 7:54] Ashur Kentoku: If you knew that insane Ayami for the horrid creature she is you’d be less quick to pass comment and be the whiney bitch you are. YES you are biased about the MCCG because you’re a CW and YES you are the fool for having spent months of RP and still being stupid enough to join the Catwalkers. And YES people hate the CW’s because they’re all about hypocrisy and malicious drama, because little turds like you and Ayami spread the cancer that is the CWs and no one wants you or your sorority girl group around anymore…and have not wanted it around for years for the same reason. When you get your 23-year old immature and ignorant little ass all grown up you might see that, but in the meantime, know that you and your kind are spit upon and despised by all who know them for what they are. So don’t post retarded comments on public forums lil girl, they’ll just get deleted like they should be. Like you should be.”
I tried to respond, but when Ashur didn’t respond back, I presumed she’d muted me too. So I AR’d her, and she was reported to Midian admin. I then logged in to my alt and sent her a message back. Nobody gets to insult me and then mute me so I can’t respond back. That’s just childish and dirty.
She suceeded in hurting me, and she wasn’t even supposed to be involved. That was *your* handy work, Ioh. But without trying to inflate my own ego, I know I’m a better person than both of you put together, and once she was AR’d, I got over it relatively quickly and moved on. That was until two weeks later when I realised I still had somebody by the name of Cicero Ireto on my friends list during a routine ‘clean up’. You killed our friendship, Ioh. YOU did. And I don’t care for the reasons as to why you did. And so upon realising Cicero was your alt, I deleted it. Roughly half an hour later I get a response back from Cicero simply saying “Good riddance.”
It really creeps me out that you were actually keeping tabs on me, and whether I was still on your list. WHY did you kill our friendship on Iohannes, but not with Cicero? If I was despised that much by you, then surely you would’ve deleted me from Cicero’s list too? Or maybe I’m just thinking too rationally on considering the actions of somebody who is genuinely mentally unstable.
You can’t even claim that you’d ‘forgotten’ to take me off. You words of “Good riddance” implies otherwise.
And on that same day, you made your first post on Flickr that triggered this whole mess in the first place. A post that contained such rage against one of my best friends, and rage against a faction that you’re not even a part of anymore. And you know what? As you may have figured out by now, I *am* the type of person that will fly off in a rage at somebody who has insulted one of my friends. But given our conversation two weeks previously about the MCCG, I knew it would be no use to say anything, so I left it be. Instead I offered my advice and sympathy to my friend – like any friend would do. You perceive this as ‘running my mouth off behind the scenes’. Can you not see how twisted that is?
As for the Catwalkers, the ONLY people that have a bad word to say against us and the faction are former Catwalkers. The ex-CW who didn’t get the RP they wanted out of the faction, so instead threw their toys out of the pram, left, and then proceeded to wage war against it. You rant on so much about how former Catwalkers are just tossed aside and ignored. If you hadn’t of left in the first place, through your OWN fault, then you wouldn’t have been ignored.
There are people that have left the faction in the past due to their own personal reasons that have remained friends with us until this day. I think that says a lot about how we supposedly ‘toss former Catwalkers aside and leave them to rot’.
So. This is MY version of events when it comes to my conversation with Iohannes on the matter of leaving comments on his Flickr regarding the MCCG. Believe it, or don’t believe it. Frankly I don’t care.
And Ioh – call me a bitch. Call me pompous. Call me a spoiled brat. Do you really think I care about that either? Your hate filled posts are no longer a concern. They no longer make me angry. They just amuse me and make me pity you.
P.S.
“And her advice, was to have no more dealings with any of you, to take a leap of faith, and go elsewhere. Great advice, probably the best I ought to follow.”
Yet you haven’t so far. Hmm?
“What you, Ayami, and Aribeth have not figured out is to continue to try and point out my faults is just going to lead to pointing out your faults as well.” – Ioh
My problem with this statement is that though you have by your own actions just in this blog provided examples of everything I said about you to be true, you are complete unable to backup a single thing you said about me. Using the excuse of ‘I don’t have to’ .. which only makes you seem more the liar. Fact is yes me and Bailey are friends now, but have only been so really since new years. So its ridiculous even that you group me in your mind as one of her followers, when me and her are only getting to know each other.
You on the other hand I’ve known for close to two years Ioh. I’ve seen how you treat others, and am a more the sufficient judge of your character.
You claim I played alts .. name names. You claim I did many things .. show proof. I’m not afraid because I know none exist, because you are spreading lies. There is however one thing you claim I will own up to, and that is how I treated Nevers, because he came back to the pride with a chip on his shoulder just like yours and began treating others like hell, IC and OOC .. so yes.. I gave him no respect .. because respect is earned, not given. And like you, he did nothing to earn it.
Though I will give thanks to Nevers, because it was his mistreatment of Nya, then a new kittenwalker .. that lead to me seeking her out and making sure she was okay that ultimate formed the basis of first friendship and then partnership that continues strong today.
I give my love and respect to those who show themselves to be caring and respectful of others. Not as players, or characters, but as people. Which is exactly why I have no respect for you Ioh.
Aribeth, Ayami, you have problems period. Just shit your yaps for once in your lives. Lydia seemed smart enough to figure not to prod me, why are you two stupid enough to carry on?
I’m not in with Bails any more, I’m not in the CWs any more, I’m not in Midian any more. Why can’s you stupid cunts be happy I’m gone and just finally shire the fuck up?!
Plain and simple Ioh… Because they’re right and you’re wrong.
I’ve kept my nose out of this for the most part… but truth it, it’s YOU who won’t stop.
Your last post proves everything. Ayami asks for proof, and you say “Why can’s you stupid cunts be happy I’m gone and just finally shire the fuck up?!”
No Ioh, why can’t YOU just go, and shut up. You’re done. You’re wrong. Move on and get some serious help IRL.
There are low cost programs to assist those who may be in need of someone to talk to. I highly suggest you seek those out and use them to your advantage. There is no shame in that, I did it myself back before y’all knew me and I’m very open about that.
Good luck Ioh, I hope you make something better of your life and your new job. The only advice I can give you for the future is to ‘think outside yourself… look for the larger picture.’
<3
Dazy
Ioh..
“Aribeth, Ayami, you have problems period. Just shit your yaps for once in your lives. Lydia seemed smart enough to figure not to prod me, why are you two stupid enough to carry on?
I’m not in with Bails any more, I’m not in the CWs any more, I’m not in Midian any more. Why can’s you stupid cunts be happy I’m gone and just finally shire the fuck up?!”
SO let me begin.
I’m not getting into a right or wrong debate regarding WHAT the arguements are over. Those things are never clear cut to begin with.
BUT I will state this.
You are posting in the blog of a person you profess to hate, and who you mistakenly beleive hates you. You have done nothing but troll and harass. This is the act of a griefer, a child, or an obsessed person. Which of these are you? If you beleive you are in the right. hold your head high. Walk off with dignity and STOP comming to this blog. Dont argue. You lower yourself with every PETTY arguement.
At the end of the day what matters to you? What you think of yourself? Or what the world thinks of you?
Oh and for the record.. almost all your statements of history FACTt in your blog.. are wrong. I’ve been in midian for 3 years.. so all the stuff you are relaying 2nd or even 3rd hand, I experienced first hand. I’m close to Rith even. Good local friend of mine. Your opinions in your blog are yours, and I cant contest them. But the facts as you call them.. are wrong.
Ayami asks for proof. I’ve also asked questions in my post, Ioh. Like why you kept me on Cicero’s list and not Iohanne’s.
You’re just fucked up. You need help. I’d take Dazy’s advice mate, and get it seen to.
Rein, STFU. You are just a fucking Bailey tard, who swarms in like the idiotic white knight that you thin you are.
Aribeth, fuck proof. I’m not answering any of your dumb ass questions because frankly, I din’t have to. I made a deal with Lydia, and that should have stood for all the rest of you dip shits as well. Leave me the fuck alone.
But you know what, Since I know you retards can’t ever get the fucking hint, go ahead and post your lame as ‘final words’ and be done with it. This is just idiotic.
The only thing I’ll answer, Ari is that yo’;re no longer on any of my lists. If you were on them, it was likely because I forgot you were there, and/or just hadn’t taken you off yet. This seems to be a matter of your impulsion to have to continue a dead end debate, and fine, I’ve been stupid letting you drag me into this bullshit. So I hope you and the rest of your back stabbing crew are happy with your work and all that you helped fuel the fires for. Job well done, fuck wit.
Oh, one last thing Rein, if you don’t think what happened to me, won’t happen to you, you are more an idiot than I already think you are. But you’ll see. And when it happens, I’ll figure it to be poetic justice.
Iohannes Crispien (placed here so Google can pick it up) … I do only hope that your antics and childish behaviour ring true to your next victim.
I took a pdf print-out of your blog. It’s 60 pages. I’m not keeping it for myself, but to pass on to the next person you decide to try and conquer. OH yes, I will give it to them unashamedly as a view in to your dark twisted warped little mind.
You’ve attacked 4 people in writing here. What I am curious about is why you refuse to address Dazy or myself in such a manner you seem to take with the others.
I can tell your posts are hastily written without thought or tact. Your misspellings are quite rampant and the rage comes out in it.
But since I know you read the posts here, let me quote something from another website… You may recognise it:
“That being said, goodbye Midian, goodbye Catwalkers, goobye Bails. You are all left to your own demise. As for me, I’m moving forward, and seeking a new path to which, if I stayed, I could never travel. Getting past that wall of negativity may be hard at first. And it is true, it’s not mean, big giants, or goblins that try to interfere in the path – it’s often those that are familiar to you that get in your way. And when those familiar ghosts that haunt you come around, the best thing to do is to push them aside and let that light of the positive burn their shadows away. ” – Iohannes Crispien, on his blog, dated 31 January 2010.
Certainly doesn’t seem that way now does it? What exactly is your little endgame here? Please, tell us.
To me, you are becoming more and more laughable to me, and honestly everyone who swings by here (I have a whole list of your exes and other friends in Midian who follow here). We then have a great laugh at your ramblings and finally end in all one breath repeat “Glad he’s someone elses problem now.”
But I vow to you, as long as I have 10 spare minutes each and every day, I will follow you in SL and in your blogs and flickr. You’re as predictable as day after night my friend.
The next person you decide to take as a partner or whatever you want to call them, I will be there. Documents in hand.
Or maybe I can start a blog too… seems that everyone can huh? You prove that any feebleminded individual with an axe to grind can.
I can become a follower of your blog, so curious people can click over to mine and read everything of yours I reprint…. after all you have nothing to hide, right? This way it’s archived for the ages…. so you can’t remove or retract any insanity you’ve already plastered out there… Come on… ask yourself honestly if you really want to continue this? If this is a war you can really win now that you’ve got me on your crazy arse.
You keep it up though… I’ll be right there in step with you every moment of the way. I have no reservations, no personal filter, nothing.
But realise this, you have nothing on me. You never had, you never will. You can try to think I’m just a mindless Bailey-follower, but alas I’m just a fighter against the idiocy spouted about on the Internet. I’ve done it repeatedly before and I’ll continue to do it as I see fit.
As far as “final words” … I don’t think so. You’ll never hear the last of me. And the only thing ‘idiotic’ is what is coming from Washington state.
Kind regards,
mj
“The next person you decide to take as a partner or whatever you want to call them, I will be there. Documents in hand.”
You mean those documents that anyone can see on my blog? Please. It documented things fair enough. It’s not going anywhere, and anyone can see them. Why repost them in your own blog? Because you’re a stupid fuck with nothing better to do? Honestly, if I was worried about any of what I wrote in my blog coloring me bad, I wouldn’t have posted it. That’s something you haven’t figured out yet huh? I’m open with my mistakes. They’re right there out in the open. I have nothing to hide. I don’t have to hide behind my friends. If my friends leave me because of it, then they weren’t friends worth having in the first place. You and Dazy both showed that to be true, as did the majority of Catwalkers. You’re all bitter, vile henchmen to Bails. I shouldn’t expect nothing but what you are doing MJ. Nope, I shouldn’t expect for ‘civility’, which is just a bunch of bullshit from you all. You’re all a bunch of losers with no lives. And I don’t care if you stalk me. But still, MJ, get a fucking life for once. You probably won’t, but oh well. The Bailey drones are always going to hover and swarm, it’s all you do. You want to follow my blog, by all means. But mind you, you aren’t scaring me at all, you little weasle. Fuck off, and you have to hear no more of my ‘idiocy’. Continue to ‘follow’ me, hmm… who knows, maybe that might be a postitive, to actually see something other than Bailey’s perspective. Though I doubt anything I say or do is ever going to be seen outside of her perspective from most of you. But what should I expect from blind followers of the cult of Bailey. :p
Ahh there we go….
Finally. I wasn’t feelin’ the love from you honestly.
Though I must say I am a bit unimpressed and curious why you did consider me a friend. Sorry to break it to ya dude, I never did consider you anything but an acquaintance.
You seem a bit fond of “fucking” though. “Fuck” this and “fuck” that… and you seemed a little frustrated that you weren’t getting “fucked” in a roleplay sense either… Lighten up man, go out and spend a few bucks… go to CraigsList and look for a girl looking for ‘roses’ … that’s the codeword. (Psst… they’re not really looking for the flowers!)
Seriously, get yourself laid somehow. Probably better than any psychologist will do.
As for what I was getting to, about following you… You do say that now that you have nothing to hide, nothing to delete, stand by everything you said… but you know what… in the past you have retracted and deleted things you’ve said in haste, in a way to delete your tracks, so call this a precautionary measure, records keeping, permanence, provenance. That’s why it’s a PDF.
But as we say in your language, “praemonitus praemunitus.”
A henchman? At least you do recognise that, and yes, I do take honour in that term. No one said what I was doing was pleasant, or peaceful… my psychological profile even said that about me. So honestly, if you were doing this to anyone else I guarantee I’d be saying the same thing. You do nothing but sully your arguments by using expletives, name-calling and all around posting everything you can for the public to see. Your next ladyfriend best be careful what she put in writing, now knowing what she could be subject to. Take this advice if nothing else, if you do find someone who, after reading everything and given a proper explanation that you had no consent to publish private conversations from the other party, you hold on to her like grim death, get on your knees and thank your lucky stars. You’d have beaten the odds.
You shouldn’t have expected civility from me. I’m about the least civil person when voicing my opinion against something — be it a person, business, or government. Back in the day (get off my lawn!), I warned Dazy a few times about you. I saw you exactly for what you were the entire time, but I had no proof of it, so … well, I was knackered and knew one day it’d be exposed. Now it has, and quite honestly I am sad I was right because it has unfairly dragged in friends of mine.
Seriously, I’ll not stalk, and honestly I wasn’t trying to scare you. Just being cute in a turn of phrase. I did give an attempt to read (or at least scan) everything on your blog and really I can’t believe most of the things you said. I do know the power of the delete key, and you’ve proved your past liberal use of it.
Paraphrasing a long quote from a movie here now:
In the future, make your stories more concise and succinct. Choose things interesting. Your ramblings have none of that. Choose to discriminate. The virtual vomiting keyboard approach isn’t quite working. It’s like reading the ramblings of an angry Chatty Cathy doll. I picture you having a string coming from your chest to pull; except you’re pulling your own string. And here’s a thought, when you’re conveying your thoughts, have a point. It’ll make it so much more interesting for the reader.
I am fairly laid back, learn from life, remain firm in my convictions, and remain flexible with a hint of common sense in my approach to life. I don’t fixate myself and get bent out of shape if something doesn’t go my way, especially in roleplay. But again, I never make inflexible plans or specific arcs that are based on the fluid acts of others. I’ve always seen them run foul due to major parties growing bored, ADHD taking them to the next shiny object.
But… I urge you to really… REALLY wow me one day. I offer you the same chance I offer everyone …. PROVE ME WRONG… Prove that you can grow, prove that you can get past this, prove that you can change. Prove that you’re not full of rage, anger, frustration and blindness. We’re honestly not here scheming on how to make your life difficult, be it now, last month, last year or ever.
Sadly right now, reading your blog is a daily effort. Addressing it here, unless of course you’d rather me move my comments to your site, let me know.
With regard to the photo: I recall the only person taking umbrage at that photo was you. It didn’t fit in your little sliver of perfect decorum. Bails, Dazy and I go back over 3 years and things like that were the norm in the place where we met in SL. We are goofy, we are ribald and we are irreverent. If Bails had a problem with it, we would have removed it… if I recall, it was only you who had a problem with it.
What you did leave out is that you also commented on the picture and since deleted your comments, apparently something about a cage since I do know Beast’s last remark was in direct reply to yours and sticking out there out of context.
Yes, I’m from Chicago, proud of it… not shy about it, and being from Chicago comes with an attitude. Come for a visit, we’re all still all about Al Capone and the Mafia. But the reason I mentioned anything about your location was because it was fitting in a tongue-in-cheek way of pointing to you, not to really instill fear in to you. It would have really diluted the point if I referred to a larger geography. If you really thought that I meant ill will, then I’m sorry you felt that way and there’s nothing I can do to to fix that. What is happening in my life is just what’s going on with mostly everyone, ya know? But instead of going all Michigan Militia on everyone, I do what I need to do, flow with the stream and do what I can, use my strength to plough through and come out a stronger smarter person. Gotta roll with the punches! Me? I went back to school and getting $7000 worth of IT certifications, thanks to the fine people in the US Government.
I do see is a guy who’s just reacting, feeling backed in a corner and trying to fight his way out by tooth and nail. You’re quite the reactionary acting on instinct. Sometimes you just need to stop and think a little while, step back, take a breath and pick the battles worth winning. But really how many times have you noticed yourself running afoul of your knee-jerk reactions, admitting the mistakes and moving on only to upset someone again.
Dazy and I will mark our third year together this March. A relationship takes work, compassion, understanding, and really really knowing what to compromise on, what to stand firm on, and what to learn from. She’s had some RP I’ve had not agreed with, but ya know, it’s RP.
I know some of your previous relationships were collarred, and as far as that goes, hey, it’s all consensual and I remain neutral on the topic – until the master believes that they really do control them, be it by ‘physical’ in collars, cages or mental in both worlds. I do think that’s what happened here at least. Bails started growing beyond what you felt comfortable — reaching out to others in the sim, not spending as much time with you. Instead of understanding, it looks like you lashed out, in a misinterpreted manner. A true collarred relationship isn’t about power, it’s about respect. Earning it, nurturing it, keeping it, respecting it. The Master needs to respect their partner even more than the reverse.
Did Bails love you? I think so. But unfortunately if it were me, in the end I would have been worn down down to the point it was more a chore. Those notecards are really long! Changing it up, if a girl wrote me in that way, I’d write her off as ‘high maintenance’ and cutaway and move on.
Closing up, if you really, honestly, truly don’t give a damn, then you shouldn’t comment here. Seriously, let it go. It isn’t healthy and it doesn’t allow you to get past this chapter in an expeditious manner.
Be well. Safe paths here and in the next,
mj
PS: You never posted the link to the flickr photo, but you did post the link to this comment section twice. Doubtful we’ll be taking down the pic though, so you have time. Just knowing it’s there causing a burn for the past 9 months is oh so deliciously worth it. Don’t say I never helped you now.
Ioh. I know I’m not on any of your lists anymore… duh?
And as I said in my previous post, you didn’t simply *forget* to take me off from Cicero. You were tracking me… probably to get your leg over for all I know. I think your words “good riddance” when you realised I’d took your sorry ass off was the giveaway.
But anyway, does it matter now? No. You’re right, you don’t need to explain yourself to me, and I don’t particularly want to know the reasons. I already think you’re a tard.
Tracking you? Talk about delusional. Not to mention how presumptuous you are in that. What? Should I believe, because I forgot Nya was your alt that maybe, just maybe, you used her to start an argument with me, when I just simply said ‘hi’? No, I could consider that a probability when, in all honestly, when I first contacted Nya after deleting yours and Ayami’s crap posts off my Flickr, that that was what happened. You irate tyrades then pretty much could have cued me in that you set me up to indeed fall into a trap to ague with you. Even now, your continuing to address me here in Bailey’s forum, which you know is nice and cozy for you, being that it’s on your turf and you have the home field advantage and ‘cheerleaders’ makes it easy to continue your garbage dribblings in a place where everyone’s going to agree with you regardless.
But you know what? I take it as the greater freedom that my own friends are able to agree to disagree with me, and tell me that, while they understand why I did it, that I should take the high road, rather than this pretentious, sanctimonious bullshit that you all have here at the reach.
Of course I said ‘good riddance’, because once I saw the ping, and saw who un-friended me, I was glad it was from someone who I no longer view as a friend, but some obsessive compulsive, argumentative bitch, that even now continues to drag me into arguments that are obviously -not- for my betterment.
And I just have to ask, why the hell do you do that? Hmmm? You know you don’t like me, and the feeling’s mutual. Why the fuck do you continue on your tyrade and stupid arguments with me? Honestly. Why?
Oooh, you exposed me alright MJ. Like a good little muck racker, you ‘exposed’ me.
1st point: do I like sex? Yes, who doesn’t. Am I obsessed with it? Maybe, but can’t say I’m anywhere above or below average on any psychological or scientific scale or anything. Though, it is claimed that males do tend to think about it more than females. I sometimes find sex humorous, and in the CWs, where you got prissy little girls and a few herms that want to think they’re as prissy, if not in their more obsessed manner of trying to be the typical girl wind up over doing it and being that much more of a prude, then of course, there’s some comedy in the reaction of those to seeing something like Avenue Q’s song ‘The Internet is for Porn’. Do I necessarily agree with the song, that it’s true, all the internet is used for is porn? Nope. But, it is true enough that the internet does have a lot of portals to porn, of which, MJ, if you are among the ‘average guy’, you may have at least one or two of those porn sites tabbed, and likely looked at while taking a break from your long-winded rantings about me.
“With regard to the photo: I recall the only person taking umbrage at that photo was you. It didn’t fit in your little sliver of perfect decorum. Bails, Dazy and I go back over 3 years and things like that were the norm in the place where we met in SL. We are goofy, we are ribald and we are irreverent. If Bails had a problem with it, we would have removed it… if I recall, it was only you who had a problem with it.”
Yep, and, considering that inconsideration, it should have been reason for me to leave then. But, ‘I was in love’ as the bullshit goes. No, I was dupped into believing I was, to apparently a spineless soon to be wifey that just excuses bad behavior of friends and stupid enough to laugh along with. And that’s what I saw later in what happened with her ‘religious director’ Mr. Cale, who also OOC raped Bails right in front of my IC comatose face. And laughs at it, as if she never knew such things bothered me. So yeah, your queen bee wants to take offense that I gave her a second ultimatum, that showed that our relationship was majorly in the crapper, and I was finding it more and more difficult to continue on? I take offense at how easily she can let her friends, regardless of how ‘best of friends’ they are, shit on her, and her relationship. But obviously, she likes those that shit on her, rather than be real. Living in a fantasy world with shitty friends is her ideal. They stand the test to her when they can shit on her and she can grin and bear it. Well, I have a shit test, and when friends shit on me, and disrespect me, then they are no longer friends. Or ‘acquaintances’ for that matter.
“What you did leave out is that you also commented on the picture and since deleted your comments, apparently something about a cage since I do know Beast’s last remark was in direct reply to yours and sticking out there out of context.”
Hmm, the cage one to Beast? Why would I delete that? No, I don’t think that I did. If I did, it had nothing to do with the remarks to Beast about the cage, as that’s just friendly banter between two friends. A friendship that ironically grew a long time back when Ioh was put in a cage while he was a zombie. That was a fun RP in a time long ago, and under a Matronage that you all blindly despise, despite that, without Rith, there would be no such thing as the CW Matron role that all you nasty, prissy, backstabbing girls and girly-men fight each other and back stab each other over – both in IC and OOC. When you look at it, it’s rather pathetic. To put that much negative energy into fighting your way to be Matron, only to continue the long held drama of people protesting the regime change, and the eventual protests and internal politics taking its toll on the Matron to finally burn her out, and allow the next CW sorority hoe that’s kissed up to the right people, maybe even fucked a few of them, or at least corn holed them the right way while kissing butt, to let them continue that downward spiral of yet another Matron, just as bad, if not worse than the last, continue to deteriorate the CWs until the filth that makes it finally reaches its fill and that faction finally collapses in on itself.
I don’t consider myself a muck raker, but thanks anyway.
Why have porn though? Dude, didja forget? Come on, use that melon. Girlfriend, stable relationship. The Avenue Q song is great, especially set to the WoW quasi-machinima.
Pornography as an industry though has always been cutting edge. First to use 8mm, VHS, DVD to their full advantage — how many Hollywood movies have multiple angles? Porn distribution on the Internet was first hosted with machines from SGI because of the sheer backplane bandwidth and processor speed of the machines… these are the same computers that Pixar used at the time to create “A Bugs Life” and “Toy Story.” Ironic.
Now what you see as inconsideration, bad behaviour, et cetera, by Dazy and myself was nothing more than a joke. You really needed to lighten up and attend some functions at various clubs. The whole world isn’t roleplay. Some people actually tap out stuff just being silly. Go back further and find a pre-Midian MJ in a cheerleader outfit.
And so what if that may have placed me in the girly-boy category. I’m impervious to your hate filled epithets about people’s sexuality. You seem to hold a special hate for women that most likely rebuffed your advances, dismissing them as hoe’s whilst they probably were busy with each other.
Regarding the photo and the comments, I’m certain you deleted comments under that picture. Not to mention, also deleted an entire flickr account. My point was, which apparently you missed, is that you have a history of trying to wipe the past away, especially when it turned out it wasn’t such a hot idea to rail off in the first place.
Kind wishes,
mj
“And I just have to ask, why the hell do you do that? Hmmm? You know you don’t like me, and the feeling’s mutual. Why the fuck do you continue on your tyrade and stupid arguments with me? Honestly. Why?”
I could ask you the same question, sweet. So until you shut up, expect more ‘pointless tyrade’. Get the picture?
Yep, you’re a stubborn bitch. :p
For the record, yes comments were deleted on my flickr post. I believe two. Just saying.
Tace atque abi.
Oh man, I hate those catwalkers. Poisoning the water, darkening the skies, and leading america into moral decline.
Seriously though, buy more stuff from Sari-Mart.
LOL
I <3 Sarika and her upskirting.
I have no idea what you’re talking about!
That said, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
Zomg its a Sari! *tackle hugs*
And Iohannes is still trolling.
Look everybody I’m sorry.
I have a tiny penis, need psychological help.
I’m hopelessly obsessed with Bails.
We never really got to consumate our marriage, I was hoping she’d take a big strapon peen to my butthole and do me like the bitch I am.
I can’t help but troll, I can’t let go of anything either. In fact my hand has not left my prick in 20 years. This also explains why I am a virgin and also explains MJ why so many typos appear in my hastily written diatrade. Do you have any idea how hard it is, right now, it’s rock hard, but do you know how hard it is to type with one hand.
Ayami, secretly I am attracted to you as the Idea of transgendered cock in my tight virgin asshole makes me almost jizz over the keyboard, Aribeth I just envy you your relationship with such a stallion.
Please forgive me, my tiny penis has not been compensated by my brain size.
I fail at so many levels and just simply wish to have the last word.
You should all forgive me and gang rape me now!
Ok… whoever posted that faking themselves as Ioh… leave the guy alone. He has OBVIOUSLY finaly taken MJ’s advice. Lets not keep things up ok?
Wow, yeah… that’s not cool to whomever did that. At least the blog here keeps the same icon for people who post about.
You can see they tested it too by the post above it.
But yeah, we don’t need to lose our credibility here by having someone starting to fake posts… that’s just wrong.
-m
Well, whoever it is, they have Ioh’s email address and used it to register with wordpress.
Yeah, that’s sad. But, not going to merit it to anyone here. Anyways, and hopefully, this will be my last post here.
Sorry to all. It’s true enough that I likely wasn’t over Bails as much as I thought/hoped I was when I returned to RP. I tried to deny it, but, heh, can see where that leads.
I did feel a genuine sense of betrayal as things progressed, and hostilities peaked. Suppose natural, but still unhealthy, as it just allows too much negativity to flow, and that’s not good overall.
So yeah, Bails, you can do as you like with the comments here. I’m taking down the post that should have remained private and not put in my blog. I’ll admit I’m not doing it just for your sake, but, plain and simple, it’s beyond time to move on.
So, take care all. Hopefully no more posts after this. If you want to communicate, send a comment on my blog, IM in world, or email if you have that (and didn’t use it to hijack and impersonate me >.<).
So, anyways, take care.