I can’t believe how many times I have this discussion/argument with people.  Most of the time it is with people who’ve not spent a sufficient amount of time in SL to be able to make the claim that is or is not a game.

I refer everyone to  Prad’s post on the matter, I couldn’t say it any better than he does.  Go ahead I’ll wait…..

So, tell me how SL is a game.  There is no winner or loser.  There is  no *quest* or *goal*.  There are no points or scoring systems.    So how is it a game?  I log in everyday, I work, I interact with people socially, I relax and hang out with friends, I shop, I listen to music, I take photographs.  I don’t see anything there that would suggest this was a game.  In fact it sounds remarkably like what I do in RL.  The difference?  I do it virtually in SL and interact with people all over the world that I couldn’t do in RL.

So please, tell me how SL is a game?  Yes there are games within SL.  Contests to win and virtual games to play.  That does not make SL a game.  If those were the rules you’d have to say that RL was a game. 

I’m tired of having to explain it over and over again.

Who or what defines you?  I know a lot of people have discussed this around the web and everyone has valid views.  While I agree with some I disagree with many and decided to write my own post.

In order for me to answer that question I have to know what/who defines me.  In SL, Bails is defined by me, the human behind the Avie.  Yes there are other avs that have helped to shape her in some ways(Prad), and others who have influenced her sense of style(Rrish), some who have shaped what she is (Dazy, Ioh) but her foundation, her personality is all me.  I am her creator and the author of her story. 

There are things that drive her(her mate, her kittens, her sense of honor and justice, her friends) but those things aren’t WHO she is.  They are pieces of a greater whole.  She would still be who she is without all those things. 

Her thoughts, her feelings and her opinions are hers and hers alone.  They are also mine as I’m the author of what she says.  Those who know Bails and the human behind her will recognize this.  Neither she or I are perfect.  Neither she or I are always right or wrong.  We both make mistakes and strive to learn from them.  As we both learn from those mistakes we both change.  There is no way not too.  If you are to learn then you must change to some degree.

Who am I?  I’m the accumulation of my experiencs.  I’m defined by the lessons I’ve learned and the rules of the world I live in.  I’m shaped by the friends I’ve made, the family I have and the society in which I spend my time.  I’m driven by those I hold dear to my heart. 

I am who I am.  I’m proud of Bails and who she is.  Proud of the friends she’s made and her accomplishments.  Proud that she has had the courage to change and grow.

I am who I am.

To those who know me well, they’ll know that my avie has gone thru quite a few changes in the last couple of months.  The most notable of this is she’s completely neko now.  Not just part time, all the time.  She’s also sporting a lovely leopard skin.

The reasons for making these changes isn’t really the point of this post.  The fact remains that this is who Bailey is.  Now last night I was out shopping with a friend.  This friend happens to be a child av and that child av is my daughter.  The person behind the av is a good friend and I am old enough to be her mother!

The point of all of this was a couple comments directed toward me in IM.  I’ve also heard a number of comments from other people about child avs.  Course I’ve heard loads of comments about nekos in general, Gor slaves, kid avies, furries etc etc  These comments range from the bland to vile things I’d never repeat.

Hearing these comments disappoints me.  This is second life, a place where you can be anyone and anything you wish to be.  Shouldn’t everyone else be able to do the same?  What does it matter to you if I’m out shopping with my daughter?  I’m not asking you to recognize her as my daughter, I’m not even asking you to say hello.  Ignore us if it makes you feel better.   The same would be said for all the others I mentioned above. 

If your out shopping and you see a Gor slave kneeling half naked or a furry, or a vampire or any of the others I’ve mentioned above and you don’t like it, ignore it.  They aren’t asking for you to interact with them.  They are simply there to shop just like you.  Don’t stare, don’t grimace and don’t run to AR them.  Leave them alone, let them shop in peace.  No one is asking you to interact with someone  you don’t wish to. 

I will say though, it’s still polite to say "I’m sorry" when you body slam someone trying to get in the store.

So yeah, I’m disappointed in some of my fellow residents.  Who knew that when we logged in to SL to escape the crap in RL we’d let all that bigotry, hate, and intolerance in.

The next time I’m out shopping with my daughter or son and someone makes a comment, I’m going to ignore them.  I’m not going to waste a moment of my time acknowledging them and their small minds.

The next time your out shopping and you see a Gor slave/master think abou this before you comment, would you tell a neko to take off their tail and ears before going shopping?  Does the fairy or angel need to take her wings off?  Are you going to tell that Vampire , sorry put the teeth away?  What about the robot , can’t even imagine what problem anyone would have with a robot.

Stop being judgmental against someone because you neither understand why they do what they do nor approve of it.  It’s not up to you to like it, or approve it.  They are entitled to live their own second lives as they see fit.

*end rant*

UPDATE:  I’ve closed comments on this post and I will no longer allow comments on this blog that do not stay on track with the message delivered in the post.

Valentine’s Day.  That holiday that is either loved or hated depending on your current status.  If your in a relationship(a good one) then you are likely to embrace the day.  If your not in a relationship(or in a bad one) your likely going to hate all the mushy lovey dovey stuff.

For the most part I’ve always felt it is a contrived holiday to benefit the candy makers and  greeting card companies.  This year is a bit different.  This year I’m in a relationship with someone whose company I enjoy, who makes my face light up when I see him and who I want to spend every minute with.  While I still think the holiday is overdone by card and candy companies, I’m jumping on the candy heart bandwagon.

Valentine’s Day celebrates love and affection.  Go as far back as the Romans and lovers and friends have been exchanging tokens of love and friendship in the middle of the month in February.  Whether it is a simple token of affection to a friend you hold dear or something more personal and thoughtful to a lover, it’s a day to celebrate the bonds we have with those we love.

We shouldn’t need one day to remind us to say "I love you" though.  We should say it every day.  Life is far too short and things change to quickly to let a moment go by without telling the people you care about how you feel.

So I’m taking this moment to say "I <3 You" to those who I hold dear.  They know who they are.  You all mean the world to me.   You’ve each touched my heart in a different way and I’ve changed, hopefully for the better, because of it.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about each of you or try to make sure I at least say hello.

To Ioh…. You have stolen my heart.  I love you more than I could possibly say.  Your my last thought as I drift off to sleep and my first when I awake.  I love you…   always.

To all those who aren’t in a relationship and totally believe this to be an overblown commercial holiday – I hear you.  I’ve been there.  But Valentine’s day isn’t just for lovers.  It really is for everyone.  Tell your friends how much you care about them.   Tell your family what they mean to you.  Tell that designer whose clothes you adore how much you love their what they make.  Take the opportunity to tell someone you care about them. 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

P.S. -  Back to square one on the complaint meter.  Someone who shall remain nameless (Prad) pointed out a small rant I’d made.  So, back to the beginning – 1 day with no complaints!  Go me!  lol

I want to thank everyone who participated in the Charity Auction yesterday at C2P.  It was a lot of fun and best of all we raised a good deal of money.  I believe we had about 150,000L last night so a HUGE thank you to everyone!!

There will be a donation box out at the Crown and Pearl for anyone who wishes to donate but couldn’t attend yesterday.  Remember, last year we raised over 1 million lindens!!!!!

Every little bit helps and counts so if you can spare some lindens, put them in the box.

Thank you to Prad for DJing and assisting with the auction.

Thank you to Lands for all the notices and promotion of the event.

Again, thank you to everyone who donated or agreed to be auctioned off!

LOL I know, silly title but what else would say it quite so well?  See, nothing so there you go.

As my lovely friends will attest I’ve been suspiciously absent from the Crown and from their IM windows.  I haven’t even bugged them for new Gallery photos although they will get that poke later when I get home.  Hint hint

So, where have I been?   I’ve been roleplaying in Midian  and I’ve been hanging out with a very special neko that I adore and who adores me.  We partnered last weekend and I couldn’t be happier.  We talked that night about having a wedding ceremony, he said he’d do it if I wanted it.  He offered, is this guy great or what….  So, we’ll be having a wedding and a christening at St Michael’s parish in Midian.  Details will be forthcoming when I know what they are – lol.

I know I said I’d never get married again in SL but this is different.  He’s different.  I’ll spare you all the soppy details.  He knows how I feel about him and that’s all that matters.

The Crown and Pearl Charity Auction is this weekend.  We’ve had quite a few people sign up to be auctioned off.  It’s a good cause, Cancer Research so come out on Sunday and bid on someone or just dump some lindens in the donation box.  The Auction itself is Sunday at 1pm SLT at the C2P on Angel Square.  Join the Crown and Pearl group for updates on the auction and all the other great events and DJs.

The Gallery of Light theme should be changing this weekend.  The new theme is Respect.  The artwork I’ve seen so far is amazing.  We have a new addition to the gallery; Elise Capalini.  Welcome Elise, we’re happy to have you join the family.

The Angel Square market/mall is open and starting to fill in.  If you are looking for store space let me know.  Come down and take a walk through the gallery and the stores opening, there’s some truly cute items there.

So that’s what’s new and notable in my world for now.

Quick update:  I’m 3 days without a single complaint!  Woohoo Go me!

Well it’s that time of year again.   Time for the Crown and Pearl’s annual charity date auction.   That’s right, the regulars and staff are putting themselves up on the auction.   What do you get if you out bid everyone else and “win” one of these awesome folks?   You win a one hour date.  What you two do on your date is up to you.   We don’t wanna know.  No, really we don’t. 

So how does it work?  Well if you’d like to be “auctioned” off, then contact me by Thursday and I’ll add you to the list.   The you need to come to the C2P(the underground club on Angel Square) Sunday February 8^th by 1pm.   You’ll go up on the auction block and the winning bidder gets a date with you by paying the donation box.  

The event is always a lot of fun and we raise a lot of money for a good cause.  Last year over the course of a week we raised over $1million lindens for Cancer Research.   The event was dedicated to DeeDee Fadoodle, a regular of the Crown and Pearl and resident of Angel Square.   We lost DeeDee last year and she is sorely missed. 

If you can’t participate in the actual event, the donation box will be left up for a few days and you are welcome to throw some linden love in the box.   All the money raised will go to Cancer Research UK, we aren’t keeping a penny of it.

So you wanna know who is being auctioned off right?  Well, we’ve got 2 of SL’s hottest Male Avs, I’m not saying who.   I hear there is a rather sexy cat or two up for auction as well as a several other lovely regulars and staff.

If you want all the details you need to be in the Crown and Pearl group so sign up if you aren’t yet.   You’ll get all the details and notices about the event.

I’ll thank everyone in advance for their support for this very worth cause.