Yesterdays post was all about love and sex.  My readership went thru the roof.  Mostly people searching sex.  Now I’m gonna say something so you may want to sit down.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  Sitting down?  Ok here goes.

There are other things in life besides Sex.

Really, there are.  And if you watch the news this week, you’ll depress yourself so that’s probably not a good idea.  But really, there are other ways to occupy your time.  Don’t get me wrong, I like sex just as much as anyone.  My mind though can handle other topics.

So lets get back to the topic of love.  Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met in RL, that you’ve only spoken to in text or voice or skype?  Personally I think you can.  You fall in love with the person, the character and personality.  You also get to really know them in a much shorter period of time.  In RL you wouldn’t spend 4 hours dancing in a club, then wander off to a park for a cuddle and then maybe stopping off at the mall for a quick shopping trip before heading home.  But in SL you can.  You can really get to know someone when most of your connection is thru text.  That’s not to say that when/if you meet in RL there won’t be a spark.  It could go both ways.

So have you fallen in love in SL?  I have.  It didn’t work out but it was lovely for awhile.  Was it that all consuming bare your soul kind of love.  No.  But I did love them. 

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about happiness and how it means different things to different people.  How do you define happiness?  Do you need a significant other to be happy?  I think we make our own happiness.  You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and still be miserable.  It’s all in your attitude.  It can’t be faked either.  You can pretend your happy but those who know you well will see right thru it.

Let me know your thoughts on love, happiness and yes sex.  I really want to know.  I really like to hear other peoples opinions on this stuff.

Love and Sex, hot topics it seems lately.  I’ll jump in, why not.  Ahuva posted an interesting question on her blog http://ahuva18.wordpress.com/  asking what falling in love meant to the reader.  For me, it’s being vulnerable and giddy all at the same time.  Being vulnerable doesn’t always need to be a bad thing.   There is nothing like that feeling you get when love is new.  You can’t wait to see them and talk to them.  So much to tell them.  You want to share every moment of your life with them.  You get a smile just thinking about them.  The room brightens when they enter.  Later that feeling becomes a warm blanket you wrap around you.  Not to hide under but to feel safe in.  To me, that’s love.

The other question she asked was about SL sex.  Having, not having and why.  Got me to thinking about my own experiences.  Two years ago when I came to SL having a good skin and the appropriate *parts* was important.  My partners even bought me what I needed all the say down to sound effects  *rolls eyes*.  Back then I was new to virtual worlds and while my partner seemed to take the whole thing quite seriously, all I could do was giggle.  I’m sorry but watching his willy jerking upwards thru my body spewing particle sperm is funny.  Don’t tell me it isn’t.  See, now your laughing.  What did I tell you.    Add in the sound effects he bought me and it’s a good thing we weren’t on cam or voice.

So, now we move to the next type of guy, the one who only cybers.  For him it doesn’t matter where you are, what your wearing.  You’ll note I say for him.  He will flirt and cyber in IM with you from across a dance floor or 20 sims.  He doesn’t even need to be standing in front of you.  Hmmm romantic that.  Not.  What pleasure he is getting from this activity I don’t know.  Not sure i want to either.

I know sex is a huge business in SL.  Escorts, dancers, slaves, all the RP groups they all use sex in one way or another.  But are the majority of folks in normal relationships in SL having pixellated sex?  90% of my friends think the bumping and grinding of pixels is silly and I tend to agree.  So are they all cybering behind closed IMs?  Could be. 

For me, in order for a cyber session to be something other than text on a screen, there has to be an emotional connection to the other person.  Otherwise, it’s text on the screen.  And frankly, with a few exceptions, I’ve read better books.   In fact, some of you should think about writing this stuff down.

I’ve had relationships in SL with no sex at all.  No pixels bashing against each other and no cybering either.  Yeah I got the occasional *kiss* or *hug* but that was it.  Did I miss it?  Pixel bashing, no.  Like I said above, i find it silly.  The intimacy that cybering would have created, yeah I missed that.  But you can’t force it.  It either happens or it doesn’t. 

So, there you have it, my take on love and sex in SL.  I’d love to hear what you think.

Let me just say right off, this is just MY opinion.  Not right or wrong, just my opinion.  Ok then.

People what are you thinking?  Have you looked at yourself?  Is this the image you really want your avatar to portray?  Gentlemen, your neck and your legs really shouldn’t be the same size.  Your waist really shouldn’t be smaller than mine.  And those shoulders…. bigger isn’t always better you know.  Really, it isn’t.  Ask anyone.  So back off on the sliders a bit.  I’m not saying that every guy has to be a GQ model, geez that would be boring, but you all don’t have to be Mr Universe right off the bodybuilding tour either.   Pretty muscled boys are a dime a dozen in SL.  Where are all the less muscled geeks?  The guys who spend more time thinking about the world they are in rather than what they look like in it.  Those are the guys I want to meet.

Ladies ladies ladies…. The waif look is out, has been for a long time.  Put some meat on those bones ok.  Oh, I should be able to see your face without having to cam over your boobs.  Just sayin.  Although in my experience, most of the *ladies* I’ve met with boobs maxed out on the sliders are really guys in RL.  Just sayin.   Curves are great, they give us character.  But do your hips have to be wider than Mr Universe’s shoulders?  Put a system skirt on and see what happens, you’ll be cursing those hips.  Now, has anyone heard the saying *Here’s my head, my ass is coming*?  That’s all I can think of when I see some avatars whose rear end really seems to stick out about 3 feet.(yes I know, an exaggeration but you get my point)  I’m not saying everyone should have a flat butt either.  There is a happy medium isn’t there?

Like I said these are just my opinions.  Like them, don’t like them.  Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.  Have a different view?  Then share it.  Yes, I’m sure you probably think my shape is too *normal*, too *RL*.  Yep it is.  It’s what I wanted, a nice proportioned, toned body.  Will I change it?  Nope.  I’m short in RL so I’m short in SL.  This is how I want to look. 

So you then ask, why can’t everyone look they want.  They can.  They do.  I started this by saying, this is MY opinion.  My personal views, not suggesting in any way that anyone needs to agree.  I’m just sharing my thoughts, likes, dislikes.  This is MY blog afterall.  Don’t like it, too bad.

I really hadn’t planned to post much Real Life stuff here.  This is supposed to be about life in SecondLife.  However….  I got to work this morning around 6:15am as usual.  Yes, 6:15am, I leave at 3pm so hush.  Went to log in to my personal email… and it’s blocked.  WTF?????????  Now there is a lot that doesn’t get thru our firewall here.  Like SL’s website.  Anything that has a hint of *game* or *sex* is totally blocked.  Flickr-blocked, Plurk-blocked, Facebook-blocked, Twitter-blocked you get the idea.  All instant messengers are blocked too.  My only connection to anyone when I’m at work is via email or SMS on my phone.  The only email I have access to today is my work email.  And that isn’t even working right.  Not that I would even use it for personal stuff. 

I can access my reader so I can read the news and stuff but I’m basically off the grid communication wise.  At least until the throngs start calling IT bitching.  If you need me, well, your gonna have to wait until I get home from work later.  If you have me on msn you can text me.  Or you can leave me a comment here.

grumble grumble grumble

It’s important to have goals don’t you think?  I think so.  I don’t make resolutions at the first of the year.  That would simply be a waste because I never keep them and then feel guilty for not doing so.  Of course the guilt isn’t enough to make me keep them.

I’m going to set a few goals in SL though.  Of course by writing them  here, I’m kinda committed.  After all, anyone who reads  this will know I’ve set them and then won’t I feel guilty and ashamed if I don’t do them.  So, right, you my dear readers have permission to beat me over the head with a freenis(free penis) if I don’t make  progress toward these goals.

1. Get a new headset and be a proper DJ.

2. Make more jewelry; make my own tiny prims while torturing my poor eyes.

3. Get every DJ slot at the Crown filled.

4. Learn to make textures.

5. Improve Photoshop skills

6. Get all of Angel Square rented out.

Ok, I think that’s enough for now.  I’ll add to the list if something comes and keep you all posted on progress.

I’m buying a new headset today so you should hear me at the Crown djing this week.

The following quote was on a favored blog I read everyday…

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.   Marianne Williamson

I really love this quote and the feelings it evokes.  Think about it for awhile, you’ll see what I mean…

So here we are on Monday again.  New week new beginning yada yada yada.  So I’ve been thinking about what I want to do in SL.  It’s been almost 2 years  that I’ve been here and I’ve done a little of this and a little of that.  Not really focusing on any one thing.  Well how can you know what you want to do if you’ve not tried everything that interests you?  Exactly.  The last thing I wanted to try was DJing.  So, downloaded SAM, loaded up the fairly small music collection I have and tapped into the Crown stream and voila, DJing.   lol   Not so hard.  Course my headset is crap so no voiceovers until I can get a new one.  But I’m DJ.   It was fun and as I have my own bar, makes sense that I should DJ. Can’t let Prad have all the fun.

So, who is Bailey Longcloth?  A builder?  yep can do  that.  Land owner?  yep got that.  DJ?  yep   Photographer?  Yep and getting better.  Scripter? NOOOOO, you’d want them to work right?  Pose creator?  Yep, i’ve made a few that suited a need I had.  Friend?  yep and I love them all dearly.  Lover? yep just not lately   Those are all the things I’ve done, they aren’t who I am.  Who I am is much more complicated   Well really, who wants to be simple huh? 

So, I’m on a journey to figure out who I am.  Care to come along?  I’ve no idea where I’ll end up or what I’ll find when I get there.  I’m sure it’ll be a fun ride though.

Seven years ago, shortly before 9am est a commercial jet full of passengers slammed into the World Trade Center Tower 1.  Then another one hit the other tower.  By noon, both Towers had collapsed creating panic disbelief and shock not only on the island of Manhattan but across the world.

I know exactly where I was every minute of that day.  I even remember the clothes I was wearing.  It was the most beautiful September morning.  Blue skies, clear and crisp until it all went black. 

I was driving to work when the first tower was hit.  Sitting in traffic as was normal for my commute then.  The minute I walked into the office though I got pulled to our kitchen to watch TV.  And there, live I watched the second tower get hit.  I was stunned and shocked as was everyone else.  The phone lines were jammed.  It was almost impossible to get thru.  I managed to call my parents to let them know I was headed home for the day.  Before I could get out of the office though, both towers collapsed sending up a cloud of debri that you only see in the movies.  I can still see that image in my head.  The sick feeling that you know what has just happened but can’t quite comprehend that it was real.

I drove home in shock.  I listened to talk radio the whole way home.  I glued myself to the news when I got home.  And then it got worse.  They hit the Pentagon.  OMG what was happening!  And then the plane that went down in a field in Pennsylvannia, taken over by the passengers who found out what had happened because they talked to their families and heard the news.  Those passengers took control and brought that plane down so it wouldn’t hit it’s target.  They sacrified themselves for the rest of us.

That day will always be a painful memory for me.  I lost a few friends who worked in the towers.  We as a country lost that day.  In the years since a lot of things have happened because of that one day.  For once in a very long time the entire world stood with us, united in a common goal.  That was a short lived ideal.  We went after Bin Laden, rightfully so.  Did we get him?  No.  Could we have?  Yes.  We let him get away.  Why would we do that?  In my opinion it’s because our government wanted another war.  They didn’t want it to be *over*. 

Now this isn’t a political blog and I’m not going to rant about my feelings over the war or this administration.  I’ll take my rant into the voting booth come November.  As should every American of voting age.  If your a woman, you have even more of a reason to go and vote.  Remember those women who stood up for women’s rights?  Yep them.  They made sacrificies so we could vote.  So go do it.  End of rant about polictics.

So today we remember those that were lost.  The people on the planes, the ones who simply went to work that day, the firefighters and policemen who responded to the disaster and the brave folks on that United flight who said *NO we won’t let it happen*. 

There will be events all over the country and the grid today.  If you can go to one, do it.  Regardless of whether you lost someone yourself, we all lost that day.  If you can’t get to an event or that’s just not your thing, take a moment to think about the souls who left us. 

At 8:46am edt I’ll be at my desk, remembering.

Found this on Raul Crimson’s Blog and had to give it a go.  I am, apparently, the World.

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you’ve been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you’ve done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Well we finally got the winners announced from the photo contest on The Reach.

Jellix Sugarbeet – Great Ball of Fire

Preeti Inshan – Pocahontas

Aribeth Coronet – Playing the Grass

Well done ladies!!  Thank you to everyone who participated.  Rrish will be contacting the winners to arrange for your landscaping consultations.

Thank you to Rrish and Prad for helping me judge this.  It wasn’t easy!

There will be a new contest coming up at the Crown.  Theme as yet to be determined.  Stay tuned for details though.

Congratulations again to the winners and a  huge thank you to everyone who submitted photos.  You are all incredibly talented!

If your a blog reader you’ve likely seen Shopping Cart Disco.  If you follow it, you know they also post an SL Secrets post every sunday.  Totally anonymous postings of a postcard with some secret you just have to *tell*.

Ok, first.  Secrets are just that, Secret.  The whole point is to NOT tell anyone.  Secrets are also dangerous things.  It’s the rare person who can hold on to a secret and never tell anyone.  So, you’ve got a bunch of people posting their secrets to this website.  We all know nothing is totally anonymous on the internet.  If someone wants to find out who wrote what, they can.  So, not only is your *secret* out, but likely your identity as well. 

Next, why are you posting your postcards to that site?  Have you seen some of the comments people make?  Talk about harsh.  Sorry but if I was troubled enough to post there, seeing some comments would drive me over the edge.  It can’t simply be the need for attention can it?

Now, as to the content of some of these posts.  I’ve got a few very close friends who have been a focus of some posters.  It bothers them.  It bothers me.  Really creepy actually.  They have also targeted the new club Seven.  It’s been called elitist and lord knows what else.  The post recent postcard depicts photos taken at Seven.  Now, correct me if I’m wrong but you had to go there to take the pics.  If you were there, did you follow the chat at all?  They are all normal people blowing off steam and having fun.  No, I’m not in the group.  No I haven’t even been to one of the events yet.  Will I go and pay for a one time pass for an event, probably depending on the event.  The club is a bit glowy for me but hey not my club.  Yes, they charge for events.  If you don’t want to pay, don’t go.  Quite simple.  If you want to see what the fuss is about, then pay and go to an event.  But please, don’t judge based on an impression or assumption.  Take the time to get to know them.

End of rant about SL Secret.  I admit I read them.  There, that’s my little secret out in the open. *wink