Yesterdays post was all about love and sex. My readership went thru the roof. Mostly people searching sex. Now I’m gonna say something so you may want to sit down. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Sitting down? Ok here goes.
There are other things in life besides Sex.
Really, there are. And if you watch the news this week, you’ll depress yourself so that’s probably not a good idea. But really, there are other ways to occupy your time. Don’t get me wrong, I like sex just as much as anyone. My mind though can handle other topics.
So lets get back to the topic of love. Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met in RL, that you’ve only spoken to in text or voice or skype? Personally I think you can. You fall in love with the person, the character and personality. You also get to really know them in a much shorter period of time. In RL you wouldn’t spend 4 hours dancing in a club, then wander off to a park for a cuddle and then maybe stopping off at the mall for a quick shopping trip before heading home. But in SL you can. You can really get to know someone when most of your connection is thru text. That’s not to say that when/if you meet in RL there won’t be a spark. It could go both ways.
So have you fallen in love in SL? I have. It didn’t work out but it was lovely for awhile. Was it that all consuming bare your soul kind of love. No. But I did love them.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day about happiness and how it means different things to different people. How do you define happiness? Do you need a significant other to be happy? I think we make our own happiness. You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and still be miserable. It’s all in your attitude. It can’t be faked either. You can pretend your happy but those who know you well will see right thru it.
Let me know your thoughts on love, happiness and yes sex. I really want to know. I really like to hear other peoples opinions on this stuff.
Tags: happiness, love, second life, sl
Hey sis,
Always love to read your thoughtful musings on the Reach blog — and what a topic you’ve hit upon!
Can you fall in love through text and voice and skype? I think so — as you say — these media tend to strip away some defenses and make soul sharing easier and more open and honest. On the other hand — and I think this is really, really important — you tend to miss a lot, such as body language, eye contact, the person’s true state of mind and the vibe you can only get in the same physical space. This makes it much easier to put your best face forward, so to speak, and hide what you feel doesn’t represent you in the best light. The mind can also play tricks in the sense that although you know in your mind the avatar will likely not match the real life physical reality of the person too closely — if and when you *do* meet for real — it can come as a bit of a shock.
You’re bang on about happiness — only one person in the world can make you happy and that’s YOU — falling in love is about sharing your self acceptance and embracing the other person’s same sense — anything else is thinly disguised need.
Sex is another subject altogether, lol — it can be about sharing a physical expression of your love or it can be about scratching an itch, to be blunt — or it can be about both. I’ve always thought that SL is more about connecting on some intelletual/emotional level with people and sex whether real or cyber or whatever — is totally secondary.
I rarely post to blogs these days – they aren’t worth my time on the whole – yours is different, BL, as I know you put your heart and soul into it and i am honoured to have you as a soul sister — xxx — M.
Gee Bailey – Lucky you to have a sister like Narisa! My sister is cool too, but she’s away on a long vacation.
@Narisa- you are so right. My blog and Bailey’s blog started several RL discussions with family and friends on falling in love. I said exactly what you said: it’s so easy to fall in love. You are always putting your best face forward. You can edit what you say and what you do and what they see. Staying in love is much harder. Staying in love means you have to endure all those daily assaults – picking up clothes that missed the hamper, hearing the same joke/story for the umpteenth millionth time, dealing with the annoying personal habit.
I am copying your paragraph about happiness. I finally “got this” comparatively recently. But I’ve never been able to articulate it as well as you just did. Thanks!
@ Ahuva – I am truly blessed to have someone like Marisa as a sister. Not having a RL sister she’s mean all that much more to me.
@Mars – thanks for the comments hon.
Writing this blog is a joy and even more so when I get all these lovely comments. 
Oops!! My apologies Marisa!! I typed that first one before I had any coffee and my eyes weren’t really open. I’m so sorry for the misspelling!
Ahuva – LOl no worries about the typo, I do em all the time – glad my thoughts resonated with you – it’s something people should really consider a lot more than they do — it might save a lot of heartache.
BL — You’re the best sister a person could have, RL or SL
xxx M.