Love and Sex, hot topics it seems lately.  I’ll jump in, why not.  Ahuva posted an interesting question on her blog http://ahuva18.wordpress.com/  asking what falling in love meant to the reader.  For me, it’s being vulnerable and giddy all at the same time.  Being vulnerable doesn’t always need to be a bad thing.   There is nothing like that feeling you get when love is new.  You can’t wait to see them and talk to them.  So much to tell them.  You want to share every moment of your life with them.  You get a smile just thinking about them.  The room brightens when they enter.  Later that feeling becomes a warm blanket you wrap around you.  Not to hide under but to feel safe in.  To me, that’s love.

The other question she asked was about SL sex.  Having, not having and why.  Got me to thinking about my own experiences.  Two years ago when I came to SL having a good skin and the appropriate *parts* was important.  My partners even bought me what I needed all the say down to sound effects  *rolls eyes*.  Back then I was new to virtual worlds and while my partner seemed to take the whole thing quite seriously, all I could do was giggle.  I’m sorry but watching his willy jerking upwards thru my body spewing particle sperm is funny.  Don’t tell me it isn’t.  See, now your laughing.  What did I tell you.    Add in the sound effects he bought me and it’s a good thing we weren’t on cam or voice.

So, now we move to the next type of guy, the one who only cybers.  For him it doesn’t matter where you are, what your wearing.  You’ll note I say for him.  He will flirt and cyber in IM with you from across a dance floor or 20 sims.  He doesn’t even need to be standing in front of you.  Hmmm romantic that.  Not.  What pleasure he is getting from this activity I don’t know.  Not sure i want to either.

I know sex is a huge business in SL.  Escorts, dancers, slaves, all the RP groups they all use sex in one way or another.  But are the majority of folks in normal relationships in SL having pixellated sex?  90% of my friends think the bumping and grinding of pixels is silly and I tend to agree.  So are they all cybering behind closed IMs?  Could be. 

For me, in order for a cyber session to be something other than text on a screen, there has to be an emotional connection to the other person.  Otherwise, it’s text on the screen.  And frankly, with a few exceptions, I’ve read better books.   In fact, some of you should think about writing this stuff down.

I’ve had relationships in SL with no sex at all.  No pixels bashing against each other and no cybering either.  Yeah I got the occasional *kiss* or *hug* but that was it.  Did I miss it?  Pixel bashing, no.  Like I said above, i find it silly.  The intimacy that cybering would have created, yeah I missed that.  But you can’t force it.  It either happens or it doesn’t. 

So, there you have it, my take on love and sex in SL.  I’d love to hear what you think.

Tags: intimacy, love, SecondLife, sex, sl