Rrish and I were going thru our clothes last night lamenting the number of items we’ve both purchased that neither of us like and that are no transfer.  Now I have no problem with someone making their items no copy and even no modify.  But no transfer items, when it’s something you wear are really bad form.  If something is going to be no trans, then put a demo out.  

Most designers seem to forget that most of us have an AO.  That prim skirt is not going to match the glitch pants if you’ve got an AO.  Not unless the designer spends a great deal of time and effort on it.  Are you going to wear it?  I think not.  Now maybe it’ll work for some, but not for everyone.  So put a demo out, let us try it on first.  No, you may not make a sale but would you rather have happy customers or customers who won’t come back?  I have to be honest, after a couple times being burned by prim skirts that don’t line up, I won’t go back to that store.

My new policy is to not buy anything that’s no trans if it doesn’t have a demo.  If I buy it and I don’t like it on ME, I can’t give it away to someone who may love it.  I have to just trash it and that seems a waste of everyone’s time and lindens.  I really would much rather give these things away that I don’t want/don’t like anymore but no trans items don’t work that way.  So, into the trash they will go.

I’ve noticed a few designers offering the option of no trans or no copy.  I buy the no copy version.  If/when I’m no longer in love with this outfit; I’ll be able to give it away.  Someone else will get some joy out of it.  Thrift shops are super popular in RL, they would be in SL too if not for no trans items.  Think of all the vintage items out there by stores no longer open.  How much would you pay for a vintage Dazzle gown?  One sold for 40K at a recent RFL auction.

Now, demos… hair stores have demos.  Shoe stores have demos.  Some clothing stores have demos (Blaze and Adam n Eve come to mind).  Why don’t more folks do it?  I’d be more inclined to buy something things if I could try it on first.  Wouldn’t you?  That 700L gown that looks lovely in the picture…looked horrible on me.  No demo to try first but it looked soooo lovely in the pic so I had to have it.  And now I do and I hate it.  It’s in my trash because it’s no trans.  *sigh

I’ll step off my little rant today.  I’m going to have a yard sale on Angel Square.  Rrish will most likely join me.  Maybe Ryker will too.

And then the 3 of us are going to go shopping.  :D

I’m new to this whole blogging thing, at least having my own but I’ve been reading other’s blogs for a few years now.   The one thing that keeps popping up are the blog trolls.   You know who I mean.  The people who leave a comment, usually anonymous and always flaming.   Sometimes I think I need a flame retardant monitor when reading them.

My good friend Prad has his very own troll it seems.   I suppose it’s simply a fact of life that the minute you open yourself up to the public, you invite in everyone’s comments, good and bad.   Well that’s fine.  And honestly, if you can’t take the public criticism, don’t start a blog.   I mean really, if you didn’t want to share your thoughts, comments, feelings etc with the rest of the world, you wouldn’t have a blog.   I include myself in that *you* by the way. 

So, back to Prad’s troll.  What I find more disturbing is this troll claims to be a friend of his.   With friends like that who needs enemies.  Now I have friends who I’ve been unhappy with before but I’d never go after them in public and anonymously besides.   If I have a problem with a friend, I talk to them directly.   I wouldn’t start a flame war on their blog and not even take responsibility for starting it by being anonymous.   Besides, in this day and age if you think you can ever be completely anonymous, think again.   There is always a way to trace and find out who you are.   So why not just be honest and use your name?

As I posted on Prad’s blog, if your going to comment on someone’s blog, use your name.   Own your own words and comments.  Eventually it’ll be found out who you are and then the only person who looks foolish is yourself.  

Between the blogs and flickr and all the other sites where we share the bits and pieces of our lives we have agreed to put ourselves out there.   We want someone to acknowledge us, to comment on our words, feelings, ideas, images and work.   We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t.  That said, we don’t want or need someone coming along and setting up a flame war just for the sake of doing it.   Either put your name on your comment or don’t comment.  If you don’t stand by your own words enough to put your name on them then why should anyone take anything you say seriously.

Ok, I’ll get off the soapbox.

/me waits for the blog trolls to descend.

I think we all reach a point where it’s time to let go of the baggage of the past and start over.  I’m there.

I’ve been carrying around too many bags of unwanted items.   I’m not talking just about my physical inventory either.   Although that has reached beyond what is sane going way over 24k.   Yes yes I know, a third of it is fish but that is for another story.   I’m talking about all those things you accumulate as you walk thru this world.   The physical and the mental.  Lets take a look at the physical…  If you don’t want it anymore/don’t like it anymore do you box it up with everything else you don’t want and put it in a corner?   Or do you do the ultimate in cleaning and *gasps* PURGE.   I’ve got some items that I just can’t bring myself to purge.   No idea why.   I don’t like them, won’t wear/use them.   Can’t give them away or sell them.   So, I should just hit *purge*.   Why haven’t I?  Purging is sooooo…. FINAL.  That’s why.

Which really brings me to the main focus of this post.  We’ve all been there.  Holding on to something that no longer suits us.   Whether it’s a piece of clothing or furniture that was super expensive and your loathe to just trash it or it’s the relationship you’ve had with someone that’s become stale but is just sooo comfortable.  That sofa or skirt isn’t hurting anyone just sitting in your inventory really.   Huge inventories do upset the asset servers but for the most part, they can just sit in inventory not bothering anybody.

The relationship though… what happens when it ends?  Rarely do they end pleasantly, someone usually gets hurt.   How do you shed that baggage?  Carrying it is a burden and can make you bitter and mean, closed off from everyone.   Who wants to hang around a bitter person?  I certainly don’t.   So, it’s time to shed the baggage of the past and let it go.   Move on.  Box it all up and throw it on the bonfire!   I started doing just that this weekend.  I redid my profile and pics page.   It’s not finished but it’s a good start at wiping the slate clean.  

New week… new start…

Anyone wanna go fishin?  *wink

LOL

I hadn’t planned to write here more than once a week.   I honestly didn’t think I’d have enough to say.   It’s been an odd week though.  I’ve been thinking about my friends a lot lately.   Maybe it was Deedee’s passing and reading the eloquent words Kitty wrote that made me really think about my friends.

How do we define a *friend*?   What makes someone go from acquaintance to friend?   Is there a rule like, if you see them/talk to them at least twice a week for more than 15mins they move off the acquaintance list and on to the friend list?   What about the person you talk to every day but never really say anything to?   You know the ones I mean.  Your entire conversation is:   Me:  hey, how are ya?  Them:  great! you?  Me:  fine thanks.. and that’s it.  Is that really a friend?   You talk everyday but what exactly do you know about each other?  What have you actually shared with each other?  I don’t really think of those people as *friends*.   Sure, we are friendly but would I ask them to speak at my funeral?   Probably not.

Those that know me, know that Prad Prathivi and I are very close.  There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.  He’s one of the most generous people I’ve met in SL.  So it saddened and angered me to read his blog post today *Used*.   There will always be people who will take advantage of a friendship or even just an acquaintance for their own benefit.   I also know there are those who want certain people on their friends list just so they can say they are there.   The very nature of Prad’s personality makes him and others like him vulnerable to this kind of treatment.   He’s right though; would it kill these people to take a few mins to just chat before asking what they want?  Everyone’s time is worth something.  But if you are going to ask someone to give up theirs for you, at least remember that they are and say thank you, or make an offer of your time to them if they need it.   It’s likely they’ll never ask but it’s the thought, the gesture that counts for something.   At least when it’s genuine.

So, what do you do in that situation?  Ignore them?  Tell the next one who IMs that way how *used* you feel?   Kick them off the friends list?  Mute them?  I doubt I could do any of these things myself.   I’d be too concerned about insulting them by not answering.  But then I tend to put other people’s feelings ahead of my own. 

So, how do you define a *friend*?   I’d love to know what you all think.

HUGS and cuddles to my friends, you all know who you are.

<3 BL