I hadn’t planned to write here more than once a week.   I honestly didn’t think I’d have enough to say.   It’s been an odd week though.  I’ve been thinking about my friends a lot lately.   Maybe it was Deedee’s passing and reading the eloquent words Kitty wrote that made me really think about my friends.

How do we define a *friend*?   What makes someone go from acquaintance to friend?   Is there a rule like, if you see them/talk to them at least twice a week for more than 15mins they move off the acquaintance list and on to the friend list?   What about the person you talk to every day but never really say anything to?   You know the ones I mean.  Your entire conversation is:   Me:  hey, how are ya?  Them:  great! you?  Me:  fine thanks.. and that’s it.  Is that really a friend?   You talk everyday but what exactly do you know about each other?  What have you actually shared with each other?  I don’t really think of those people as *friends*.   Sure, we are friendly but would I ask them to speak at my funeral?   Probably not.

Those that know me, know that Prad Prathivi and I are very close.  There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.  He’s one of the most generous people I’ve met in SL.  So it saddened and angered me to read his blog post today *Used*.   There will always be people who will take advantage of a friendship or even just an acquaintance for their own benefit.   I also know there are those who want certain people on their friends list just so they can say they are there.   The very nature of Prad’s personality makes him and others like him vulnerable to this kind of treatment.   He’s right though; would it kill these people to take a few mins to just chat before asking what they want?  Everyone’s time is worth something.  But if you are going to ask someone to give up theirs for you, at least remember that they are and say thank you, or make an offer of your time to them if they need it.   It’s likely they’ll never ask but it’s the thought, the gesture that counts for something.   At least when it’s genuine.

So, what do you do in that situation?  Ignore them?  Tell the next one who IMs that way how *used* you feel?   Kick them off the friends list?  Mute them?  I doubt I could do any of these things myself.   I’d be too concerned about insulting them by not answering.  But then I tend to put other people’s feelings ahead of my own. 

So, how do you define a *friend*?   I’d love to know what you all think.

HUGS and cuddles to my friends, you all know who you are.

<3 BL

Tags: friends, prad prathivi, second life, sl, Uncategorized